So the other day I was leaving work and this new chick says to me "Um, is your purse fake?" And I was all "Bitch, you want to step outside?"
Listen. I can handle criticism. You want to comment on my fat ass or my grey roots or my big teeth, fine. But you start questioning the authenticity of my handbag and I'm going to lay hands on you. Plain and simple.
Fake purses have no place in this world.
So. First and foremost....
1. I always carry a REAL handbag. I may have found it at the bottom of the pile at TJ Maxx or Last Chance, but it is real and it is spectacular. Believe that.
2. Within the handbag, I always have a smaller cosmetic bag. This one is usually something cheap but cute and its sole purpose is organization. I have a clear one just for the airport. (I'm all about making life easier for TSA.)(Plus getting frisked by a big chick named Mavis can get your vacay off on the wrong foot.)
3. Within the smaller bag, I always have gum. My preference is Ice Breakers Cubes in Peppermint.
4. Chapstick. Just plain. Although at Christmas I do love the peppermint. And I also have a mint citrus one that I keep in my desk.
5. Tylenol. I have a really cute sparkly pill box that I got a million years ago, so everyone knows I always have Tylenol. Ubes gets headaches a lot. I'm always prepared.
6. Hand sanitizer. I prefer the cute smelly ones from Bath & Body Works, but in a pinch I always have the plain. Nothing beats a glittery vanilla cupcake scented one, though.
7. Cell Phone. Kind of funny how we have lived most of our lives without these little beauties, yet the minute we leave the house without them, we feel naked and vulnerable and in a panic. How am I going to Tweet? How will I check my Facebook page? How can I text my random thoughts to my friends?? Oh and hey, what if there's an emergency and I actually have to (GASP) use a pay phone??? DO I HAVE ENOUGH HAND SANITIZER????
Tomorrow: 7 places I've been. Oooooh! This one is gonna be FUN! Because I've been to some pretty exciting places. Like Tooele Utah. And Gila Bend Arizona. Don't be jealous.