So yesterday I was wearing super cute shoes. I mean I wear super cute shoes every day, c'mon. But I really love my little black mules with the bow on the side. Wish I could find a picture, but I can't.
In case you are not familiar with mules, they are a slip on shoe with a heel, the back is totally open. So when you walk the back kind of flops with each step and you have to kind of curl your toes to keep them on. Which sounds really uncomfortable, but you don't even notice because you are too excited about wearing cute shoes to care. Get it? And then when you walk down stairs in those shoes, it sounds like you are clomping and stomping and a heard of elephants is following you.
But what is our motto people? Fashion before comfort! Let's all say it together:
Fashion before comfort!
So anyhoosies, yesterday I was going down the stairs at work, and this man was coming up at the same time. We passed at the landing, where he turned to go up and I turned to go down. He was a little too close as he passed me so he kind of brushed my arm. And because I am super nice and polite I said "excuse me." But in that split second moment as I opened my mouth to form the words, I relaxed my toes and the heel of my shoe kind of hit the ground funny and made a . . . um, awkward . . . noise . . . that kind of sounded really similar to a . . . ummmm . . . fart.
And before I could stop the words . . . I said excuse me.
But I was talking about the fact that we were so close and that he brushed my arm! But it really sounded like I was saying excuse me for farting.
And what was I supposed to do? Say "No, really, that was my shoe."
Yeah, sure it was.
He actually paused and looked at me in shock and I just kept on walking people. Face bright red. Scrunching my toes to keep my stupid shoe on.
I'm never wearing those shoes again and now I want to die. The end.