I'm calling shenanigans on flu shots. Because I got a flu shot. And guess what else I got? THE FLU. So that's it. I'm done. I'm not going to waste my time getting stuck with needles and having a sore arm for a week just to get the flu anyway because that sucks.
And I am pretty sure this flu is some kind of zombie virus. And I really don't want to be a zombie you guys because zombies don't really care much about their appearance. And I have reputation to uphold, you know? But I fear my transition is imminent. Because yesterday my hair looked like crap and I didn't have the energy to wear any accessories. That's a sure sign.
And do guys know what is worse than having the zombie flu? Having a husband with the zombie flu. Because husbands are big babies when it comes to the flu. Zombie or otherwise. Because no matter how sick you are, they are sicker than you ever thought about being. I mean you are so sick you want to die. You are so sick you actually go to Super Target in your pajamas and a ponytail and don't even care who you might run into because ohmygod you just need to know where they are hiding the freaking Tylenol Cold and Flu. But he is obviously way sicker because he couldn't even fathom getting out of bed and oh by the way since you are already up can you get him some more Gatorade?
I mean seriously people.
But does he want to go to the Urgent Care? No. Of course not. Urgent care is for suckers. Right? But then he won't stop shivering and so he keeps you up at night with his shaking the bed and you are just so tired but he refuses to go to the doctor.
Until his mother suggests it.
Even though I suggested, begged and pleaded for three days. But no. I mean who am I? Only his wife. Only the person he is keeping awake at night with the coughing and nose blowing and fever shaking. No biggie.
But thank God his mom got him to go to the doctor. Because now he is on the antibiotics and we can all go back to normal. And I can sleep again.
At least until I turn into a zombie. I don't think zombies sleep, do they?
Wow. No sleep and no cute clothes. I am not going to like being a zombie.