Monday, February 7, 2011

Bang. You are dead from the cuteness.


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So look what I got over the weekend.
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I know. Can you stand it? Can you smell the puppy breath? Does you heart just want to burst right now? Littlefurryfacesquishypunkinsugarboogers!
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So Wednesday my kids were off school. Teacher in service day or some crap like that. Is it just me or does it seem kids are off school more than on? Whatever, anyway.... So Junior texts me while I am at work.
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He: Hey Mom, Grandpa showed me where they have puppies for sale in the newspaper. Can I call on one?
Me: No.
He: Mom we really want a puppy and Mac and I have money saved. We will help pay for it.
Me: No.
He: Can I ask Dad?
Me: Dad will say no.
He: So you make the decision Mom. You always let Dad make the big decisions. You should start using your power.
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(I know, right? Kid is a master manipulator.)
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Me: Junior. I am at work. I am very busy and important. I can't talk to you about this now. I need to focus on my work.
He: Are you doing online jigsaw puzzles again?
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So I sent Uberman an email.
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Me: The kids want a dog.
He: I know. I think my dad put them up to it.
Me: Should we get them a dog?
He: No.
Me: Junior says I let you make too many of the big decisions and I need to start using my power.
He: See, he knows I am the boss.
Me: Whatever. We're getting the kids a dog.
He: No.
Me: Yes. We can discuss it more at home. I have to go. I am busy.
He: Today's jigsaw puzzle is pretty tough, huh?
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We spent the evening talking about puppies, what kind, what to name one. Did we want a boy or a girl? Who will take care of it if we go out of town? (My mom graciously volunteered.) We decided on a mini schnauzer, because that's what we are used to, we've had them before. We also decided a boy would be best for our family. I spent Thursday and Friday looking at online ads for puppies and calling breeders. Most had only girls left, were too expensive or were sold out.
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Friday night I decided it was a sign. I was getting cold feet.
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Was I willing to give up some of the precious few hours of sleep I get each night to deal with a crying puppy? Did I want to spend my time cleaning up pee and poop? Dealing with all the stuff dogs track in the house? What about the expense of having a dog, the food, the toys, the groomer and vet bills? Plus all the stuff they get into and chew up and destroy?
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No thank you.
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I broke the news to Ubes. Who was disappointed but he understood. Or so I thought.
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Saturday morning we got up and decided to take the kids to lunch and a movie. But on the way, Ubes mad a pit stop in an unfamiliar neighborhood. I just glared at him. I'm not stupid. I knew what he was up to.
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The family had both the mom and the dad dogs with four puppies in a big pen in their family room. One of the puppies was a lot bigger than the others, feisty, playful and curious. The owner picked him up and handed him to Uberman. As soon as he picked him up, a smaller puppy started whimpering and crying. The owner picked him up too and handed him to me, explaining these were the only boy puppies. The one I held whimpered and cried, he was shaking and trying to get to his brother. The one Uberman held was happy and friendly, trying to lick Ubes' face and check out the kids.
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But mine was sweet. I couldn't stand how we was trying so hard to get to his brother. It broke my heart.
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"What do we do?" I asked Ubes. "How do we pick? It's like Sophie's Choice. This one is going to be sad either way."
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"I like this one," Ubes said. "He's big and strong."
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"But this one is so sweet," I whined. "He is so calm. And he's not cute at all. No one will want him."
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Uberman looked at me holding the ugly puppy, our matching big, sad eyes. He turned to the owner. "How much for both?"
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And that's how we left with two damn dogs.
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This is Cooper. He is sweet and quiet and likes to chill out. He is little but he can hold his own when his chubby brother is trying to push him away from the food dish. And he looks pretty bad ass with a faux hawk.
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This is Porter. He is big and fat and rambunctious. He is curious and full of mischief. He likes to pee on the floor and wake up his brother to play at two in the morning. He is also on my shit list for trying to eat my favorite Coach sneakers. I love him but I am pretty sure he is an asshole.
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And so the adventure begins.
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9 comments:

Trisha said...

Congrats on getting the little buggers. You are right about the adventure! Good luck with that!

caroline said...

Oh my dear gracious April. You are brave and they are adorable. Love the names!

DutchMac said...

Yippee! I say a home is never really complete until it has a dog (or four or twelve or.....) so I'm run-around-in-circles excited for you guys.

If it was Christmas and I drew your name out of the company Secret Santa box, I'd totally get you the complete Dog Whisperer DVD collection, 'cause I have a feeling you're gonna need it.

for a different kind of girl said...

Oh, my heart! I had a miniature schnauzer for several years and loved that dog so, so much. Every once in awhile, I look in the ads for another one, hoping one day we can get one...just one, because my husband would never go for two! Ha! I'm jealous!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Twice the puddles!! I have sworn off EVER getting another puppy. Mine is a year old now. I'm still having to make sure everything is up so he doesn't eat it while I'm at work, and yet he STILL finds something to eat almost every day.

WILLIAM said...

I get the name Porter...but Cooper? Not Guiness or IPA ?

Congrats on the pups.

DevilsHeaven said...

Cooper totally must keep his badass mohawk! Cute wears off, badass is for life!

Stacey said...

Hide yo shoes, hide ho purses, cuz two puppies are gonna chew everything up in he-yuh.

missfortune said...

SOO CUTE!!!

http://missfortune1313.blogspot.com/