The holidays can be really stressful on a marriage. You're spending a bunch of money, trying to juggle time to spend with extended families, etc. Plus one of you is always doing more than the other. One person does the majority of the shopping and wrapping and baking and preparing, am I right? All of this added stress can be really difficult on an otherwise happy marriage, don't you agree?
Uberman and I have the same argument every year. And this year I am just not sure we are going to work it out. So I need your help in resolving this. Seriously. I want your opinions. Because I know you all will agree with me that he is flat out dead wrong.
In the movie Love Actually, Alan Rickman's character Harry is married to Karen, played by Emma Thompson, but he has this flirtatious relationship with his skanky assistant Mia, which Karen witnessed at the office Christmas party. A few days later, after a provocative conversation with Mia, Harry ends up buying the skank a necklace for Christmas, which Karen finds in a pocket as she is hanging up his coat and excitedly assumes it is for her. Are you following me so far?
(I guess I should warn you that if you have never seen the movie there are some spoilers ahead. And also, I am not sure we can be friends anymore.)
So on Christmas Eve, the family gathers around the tree to open one gift each, and Karen chooses a small square present from Harry that is the same size as the box she found in his pocket. She is devastated when the gift turns out to be a Joni Mitchell CD and not the necklace. She excuses herself to her bedroom and has a little cry as she tries to decide whether or not to confront her husband about her suspicions he is having an affair. The whole scene is very sad.
Now here is where I need your help. Do you think Karen had the right to be sad and devastated that she did not receive the necklace? Or do you think she was jumping to conclusions about her husband's infidelity? Uberman argues that A) the purchase of a necklace is not confirmation of an affair (even though later we see skanky slut face Mia climbing out of her bed in bra and panties and wearing the necklace) and B) how does she know the necklace is not still wrapped under the tree waiting for her?
I know. Can you even believe his nerve?? He could not be more wrong. We KNOW Harry gave Mia the necklace because we see the skanky slutty mcwhore wearing it. And we KNOW he didn't buy two and there isn't one under the tree for Karen. But he argues that we know that because we are the omnipresent viewer. Karen does not know. She is just making assumptions. Which I argue are correct. But he says she is just being a big baby. And I say she is trusting her intuition, as she should. Because as women, we always know.
I know, right?? The guy has some balls. I mean he is just sooooo wrong here it completely infuriates me. And the only reason he won't accept the fact that Harry is a cheating dirtbag (which HELLO! He is!! We see it later!!), is because he is hoping some day to meet Alan Rickman and have him record his greeting on his voicemail. Maybe his chances are greater if he stands in solidarity with Alan that his character is being unfairly accused. Whatever.
Regardless, this is causing a major rift in our marriage. We may need to seek counselling.
So what do you think? Without the knowledge of whom the necklace was intended for, did Karen have the right to be upset? Is Harry a jerkface liar? Is Mia a nasty disease ridden trampy whore husband stealer? And more importantly, is Uberman just straight up WRONG??
You are welcome to comment as anonymous. Unless you disagree with me and then you better straight up give me your name address and phone number so I can come egg your front door and key your car.