Junior: Well, I officially lost my last baby tooth today.
Me: Aw, buddy. That's sad.
Junior: Why? It didn't hurt. It has been loose for a while.
Me: No, it's sad that it was your last tooth.
Me: Where is it?
Junior: I threw it in the trash.
Me: What? What about the tooth fairy?
Junior: Oh please. I'm not a baby anymore, Mom.
Me: But what about the money she leaves you?
Junior: You could just hand it to me. Or give me stock certificates.