Thursday, October 14, 2010

All Growed Up

Junior: Well, I officially lost my last baby tooth today.
Me: Aw, buddy. That's sad.
Junior: Why? It didn't hurt. It has been loose for a while.
Me: No, it's sad that it was your last tooth.
Junior: Oh.
Me: Where is it?
Junior: I threw it in the trash.
Me: What? What about the tooth fairy?
Junior: Oh please. I'm not a baby anymore, Mom.
Me: But what about the money she leaves you?
Junior: You could just hand it to me. Or give me stock certificates.

Sunday, October 10, 2010


I see him almost every morning. He's there as early as 4:45 some days. His bright green or baby blue Tom Cruise in Risky Business Ray-Bans clash with his dull brown security uniform. But no matter how early it is, how hot it is, or how many cars are lined up waiting for him, he is always smiling.

And no matter how tired I am, how weary, how grumpy to be up so early in the morning, he always gets me to smile back.

That has to be a sucky job, wouldn't you think? Standing there in a hot parking lot with no shade, checking badges as hundreds of crabby employees wait to get waved into the parking lot. I mean having to wear that ugly uniform is bad enough, right?

But still. There he is, smiling away. Looking all of us right in the eyes and wishing us a good morning. Despite the astounding monotony of his job, he still finds joy. He still brings joy.

I envy him. I aspire to be like him. His positive attitude reminds me every day to be thankful, to always give it my best, and to allow my actions to make a difference for someone.

And of course, to always accessorize.

Monday, October 4, 2010


For some reason, I lost my mind last week and agreed to come in to work at 5:00 AM for the next two weeks. I know, right? That means I am getting up at 3:30 in the morning. 3:30. That is the middle of the night. But it's just two weeks. Right? Hello? Someone please make me feel better about my psychosis.

So do you guys want to hear about the weirdness I encountered yesterday? I stopped at Circle K for my morning dose of heroin refreshing and economical diet beverage. Now keep in mind it is before the butt crack of dawn, right? And it's a Sunday.

So I am standing in line behind this guy. He's older, maybe late 40's or early 50's. He's tall. His hair is a little disheveled but it is early in the morning on a Sunday so who the hell am I to judge another person's grooming, right? He's buying a 44 ounce beverage, a coffee, a newspaper and a gallon of milk. Typical Sunday morning convenience store purchases.

But when he gets to the counter to pay, he also asks for a Penthouse magazine.

Wow. That's a little gross at 5:00 in the morning, right? On a Sunday? It's not just me, is it? I mean I guess I never thought of purchasing a nudie mag so early on the Lord's day, you know?And now I don't even want to know what's up with the gallon of milk.

Fast forward 15 minutes later, I am in the dark parking lot at work getting out of my car and guess who is walking into the building?

Penthouse with a side of milk.


He works here. In the same building. On Sundays.

And he wasn't carrying the milk. So I ask you friends. Where is the milk? What is up with that?

People are weird.