At work I share a cubicle with a pretty cool chick. We'll call her Not Britney, because she looks just like Britney Spears but taller and plus size, so not totally like Britney Spears. Get it? And she can't sing. I asked.
I knew we were going to be great friends when she sat down at her desk one morning and said "I just have to say this. My boobs look amazing in this top."
We spend a lot of time talking and laughing and being shushed. It's awesome.
The following is an actual conversation Not Britney and I had this morning:
Me: Dude! This guy I just talked to? His last name was Dookie! It was so hard to say "Thank you Mr. Dookie" and keep a straight face. I had to put him on hold because I couldn't hold my giggles.
She: I heard you say Mr. Dookie and I started laughing.
Me: We are so immature.
She: Yeah, well at least you didn't have to talk to Mr. Glasscock. That was awkward.
I love her.
I have started a daily coffee habit. I was buying it every day, but over the weekend I realized I actually have a little coffee maker. I never ever make coffee at home unless my mom is staying the night with us and then she makes it for herself every morning. So I dug out my little 4 cupper and set the timer for the next morning and at 6:00 AM, POOF! Coffee! A coffee machine with a timer! Greatest invention EVER. I even bought my own fat free vanilla creamer for it.
The only problem? The insulated coffee mug thingie I use for my morning commute to work is the one I got at the Bank of Hell. And it has the Bank of Hell's logo on it. And I am pretty sure bad mojo is seeping into my coffee from it and I'll probably get some kind of cancer and die. And I hate that place and feel like such a hypocrite for drinking my delicious hazelnut vanilla coffee from it every morning. But it's the perfect size! And it keeps my coffee so nice and hot! And I hate myself for it.
So this morning I texted Travis my dilemma. Being a former Bank of Hell employee, I figured he would understand. This is our actual textversation:
Me: I have a new daily coffee habit. And I am drinking it out of my [Bank of Hell] mug every morning. I feel like such a hypocrite.
Trav: I have new daily heroin habit. And I use my [Bank of Hell] syringe to inject it every morning. But I don't feel bad because it's good heroin.
Trav: And I named my syringe [Banker Bitch Barbie] because it's plastic and empty.
I miss him.
I love that good or bad, my adventures as a working mom have brought amazing people into my life. I'm thankful.
And I'm a total of six pounds lighter. Cyber high five for Fat Campers everywhere!