Friday, July 2, 2010

I'm a moron. Nice to meet you.

It's 6:11 AM on Friday morning and I have to leave for work in approximately 9 minutes. I have been getting up between 4:30 and 5:15 (depending on whether or not I have to drop the kids off at MIL's) every morning for a month. And I am pretty sure it is starting to have negative effects on my brain.

Here's why.

I have auto start on my car, so I usually start the car from my entryway every morning as I am getting my shtuff together. You know how some of you have to warm up your cars in the winter? Well we have to cool ours off in the summer. Anyhoosies, yesterday morning, I got in my car, that was already running, set my purse on the passenger seat, stuck my phone in the cup holder, put my seat belt on, figured out how high or low I needed the air conditioning, and then reached for the gear shift to throw the bad boy in reverse.

Only it wouldn't budge. I stared at the dashboard. What the hell is wrong with my car? I tried again, yanking on the gear shift trying to pull it down into reverse. Nothing. I sat for a minute in a panic. Great. Just great. Something is wrong with the car! Like I need this right now! I reached back up to turn the car off so I could go wake up Ubes and tell him my car was a piece of shit and he would have to take me to work.

And it was then that I realized I had never put the key in it. Nice.

Then I spent a couple of minutes trying to plug my phone into my iPod cable. Guess what? I didn't work.

I was like Oh My God!! Am I having a stroke?? What is wrong with me??

I chalked it up to exhaustion and went about my day. Last night Ubes and I went out to dinner, just the two of us. I told him about my two brief moments of stupidity in the car and he just shook his head at me while he laughed his ass off. I excused myself to the restroom as he payed the bill.

And then in the restroom I stood at the sink holding my soapy hands under the faucet waiting for the water to come on. The water wasn't coming on. I removed my hands and put them back hoping to trigger the sensor. Nothing. So like an idiot I started waving my hands back and forth in front of the faucet to get the stupid sensor to see me. Still nothing. So I moved to a different sink. Same thing, no water. What the hell? The water isn't working in this bathroom??

And then I realized I had to pull the lever on top of the faucet and actually turn the water on myself. Yeah, I know! Manual faucets. Who would have thunk of such a thing?

So yeah. Getting up early is making me stupid.


Trisha said...

Such a wonderful reason to sleep in! Your little mishaps had me chucking this morning . . . but don't worry - I have been there too!

Kristi said...

This is a thing of beauty - God, I love days like that! You never know what will happen next!

Sue said...

I just think that modern technology is over-rated sometimes. At least that is what I tell myself...

Don't feel bad Girlfriend. Not long ago I took some friends to the airport. Before we got there, they wanted to take some pictures near the bay. They had their luggage in my car, and as we all got out of the car, I hit the key fob, and noticed that the car didn't lock. I tried again, and still no auto-lock sound. No horn beep, nothing. I told them that I would have to stay with the car while they went to take their pictures since there was no way for me to lock the car, and I didn't want their stuff stolen. I got home and told hubby about it and how upset I was that I couldn't leave the car, and couldn't get it to lock.

He asked me if I tried to stick the key in the keyhole and turn it to lock the door, like in the "olden-days"....he's such a smartass. Um...yeah, I forgot I could do that.

Chris H said...

HA HA HA.. I too have done that in a restroom! NO water... derrrr.
The only other idiotic thing I've done recently is get in me car and drive to the supermarket... only to find THE CAR has driven me to the fabric shop! Like, I didn't want to go to the fabric shop... but me car is so used to going there it just went there on it's own! lol