Friday, April 9, 2010

Not the brightest crayon in the box, but we love him anyway...

Last Saturday I had to work until 1:30ish and Uberman had an appointment for a side job at 1:00, meaning the kids would be home alone for about an hour. Stop judging me people, my oldest is 12 going on 40. And they all know the basic rules:

No answering the door or the phone unless it's one of us.
Keep the alarm set.
No going outside.
No using the stove.
No using the computer.
Don't do anything you wouldn't do if mom and dad were home.

So when I left work, I called home to let them know I was on my way.

And the phone rang and rang and went to voice mail. I waited a few minutes and called again. It rang and rang, then went to voice mail. I called Junior's cell phone. Again, no answer. By this time I am a little worried. One of my pet peeves is not being able to get a hold of someone. So I wait and try again. No answer.

Now I'm pissed. And wondering why they aren't answering.

Finally on my FIFTH attempt at calling the house, Mac answers the phone.

He: Hello?
Me: Dude! Why aren't you guys answering the phone?
He: I didn't know where one was.
Me: Seriously? Did you look?
He: No, we're on level 5 of the new game. Couldn't pause it without the risk of dying.
Me: So why did you decide to answer it now?
He: I needed a drink.
Me: Dude. I have been calling for 10 minutes! I must have called a million times.
He: Oh, that was you?
Me: Mac. I don't like it when I can't get a hold of you guys. I get worried when you are home alone and not answering the phone.
He: We're home alone?
Me: Ummm, yeah? If Dad's not there and I'm not there, that means you're home alone.
He: You're not here?
Me: OHMYGAWD! What do you think? I'm calling you from my closet?
He: Where are you?
Me: On my way home from work!
He: Oh. I didn't know you weren't here.
Me: Are you kidding me? Didn't you wonder why you hadn't seen me all day?
He: No, I just thought you were busy doing stuff.
Me (sighing): Where is your brother?
He: Can you bring us home some Taco Bell?

These kids are giving me gray hairs and wrinkles. I want my money back.

6 comments:

Trisha said...

Okay - that just made me laugh! He didn't even know you weren't there! Too funny!

DutchMac said...

Oh, that's fantastic! At least you know he won't turn into one of those needy, co-dependent, mommy-needs-to-hold-my-hand-at-every-step-until-I'm-45 kind of wimps.

Heaven bless independence. :-)

DevilsHeaven said...

That is awesome!! LOL.

Heather said...

OMG... That is TOO FUNNY. Reminds me of a couple of weeks ago. Stranded in a ditch in a freak snow storm, 60 miles from home and its 5:30 pm. Had been there for 2 hrs waiting on a tow truck with no end in sight. The kids knew where I was and Jason was home. I get a phone call from my youngest (10) and he says... "Mom? uhhh, ummm, I love you, uhhh, what's for supper?"
Yeah, feelin' the love.

Raz said...

Sadly, I also don't notice when my mum isn't home. I'm 19 and I still get scared when I realise I'm in the house by myself. I'm fine if I knew beforehand. But being jumped on by my solitary state? Not nice.

Oh, and when they grow up they won't answer the phone because they're in bed. Mum calls me at 11.30am at university and I cancel the call. She assumes I'm in a lecture. Foolish.

Lauren said...

Ahahahaha! I can't wait til Sam is old enough to say stuff like that. Right now my blog is just cutesy baby stuff, but I can't wait for the funny kid stuff!