Nobody has any money. No one.
And the people who do have money, don't have as much as they did two years ago. Seriously. I checked.
People pick their nose in the drive thru. I think it's the boredom.
Some people don't know their bank account numbers. A lot of people. And if you are reading this and you don't, shame on you.
People don't like to wait in line. I know. This one surprised me too.
Time moves slower in the bank. You could be in line for one minute and thirty seconds, but you will swear up and down you were waiting for 15. Something happens when you walk in the door, the laws of time become null and void.
The person you think has a lot of money has nothing. And the person you think has nothing, is loaded. (But not as loaded as they were two years ago.)
People don't think it's funny when you deposit their money in the wrong account. They don't care if it was an accident. Even though they don't know their own account numbers.
Inflation even affects strippers. The popular thing to do is give them $2 bills. And it just makes your day when you get a stack of oily, glittery $2 bills from a girl named Candi. Why does it always have to end in "i"? Anyhoo, Travis used to say the $2 bills smelled like shame and broken dreams. And herpes. I love that. The line about shame and broken dreams, that is. Not herpes. I have never had herpes but I hear it is unpleasant.
Old people don't like to show ID.
A lot of you are lying about your weight on your drivers license.
Guys will flirt with you to get out of paying fees. This doesn't work. It just pisses me off.
Clive Owen is never sleeping in the vault. Trust me because I check. Every day.