Someone hacked my iTunes account. I blame Beyonce.
Seriously. I mean I never had any problems with iTunes, ever. In five years people. Hundreds of downloads with no problems. And then I get stupid and sappy about a Beyonce song and BOOM! Hacked. Coincidence? Oh I don't think so.
And here is the worst part. Pay attention, this is important. Itunes doesn't care. Yes. You read that correctly.
On Friday I downloaded 5 songs. I had $37 in credit on my account. The total amount of my 5 songs with tax was $5.87. It asked me to confirm my purchase, which I did, and then I went on my merry way, grooving to my new songs just as happy as could be. So you can imagine my shock when iTunes emailed my receipt showing my 5 songs in addition to $36 in "decorative avatars." What the flippity flop is that? The entire credit was taken plus my five songs were billed to my bank card. Whaaaaaa????
One of the most frustrating parts of this debacle is that I couldn't talk to someone by phone. I had to email them. And we all know I am an instant gratification type gal. So waiting for a response from a customer service rep was not working for me. Not that it mattered, because he expressed his empathy for my situation, apologized that this happened to me, but regretfully informed me there was nothing he could do. They don't do refunds. We should have read the fine print.
Really? Even if it is obvious we did not make these purchases? And you can see for yourself the items are not listed in our applications? You even said it could have been a system glitch, but oh well. You're sorry but there's nothing you can do??
Again. Whaaaaaa??? Are you FREAKING kidding me dude?
They temporarily froze my account, advised me to change my password and contact my bank to dispute the $5 plus billed to my bank card.
The next day, ANOTHER $27 in "decorative avatars" was purchased on my frozen account. And still, iTunes just shrugged his shoulders and said "Sucks to be you." After Ubes sent them a snippy email in all caps to get his point across, they did graciously agree to give us three free downloads for our troubles.
Really iTunes?? Three whole free downloads?!?!? How GENEROUS of you! Considering we just got wiped out more than $60.
So guess what happened next? I had to go to the bank and dispute the $27. And of course they closed our debit cards and now we are waiting on new ones. But the $37 in credit that was on an iTunes gift card? We are SOL.
So guess what iTunes?? You just lost my business, Bitch. And not only did you lose my business, but I am now planting a seed in the mind of every person who reads this. And you may lose their business too. And I hope you do. Because you suck. Even if Beyonce did give me some bad juju, you could have made good, iTunes. You could have stepped up and done what is right. But you chose not to. And now I choose to get my tunes somewhere else.
Because, you see iTunes, I spent several years training people how to do customer service the right way. So I know what I am talking about. This was not a Positive Memorable Customer Experience (otherwise known as a PMCE )(oh yeah, iTunes! I am breaking out the customer service lingo to show you how serious I am!) for me. It was the exact opposite of a PMCE. You don't care about your customers. I should have realized this when I found out the ONLY way to contact you to report a problem was through email. So we are no longer friends, iTunes. You are dead to me.
And Beyonce? You are on notice. Don't piss me off. (And please don't send your hubs Jay Z to bust a cap in my ass either. He scares me.)(I heart you Jay Z. Your song Empire State of Mind is my jam. I grew up on the mean streets of Salt Lake City, so I feel you Dawg. Although . . . and this is just me offering you a little advice from one hood to another . . . I think you may come off a little too . . . cocky?? Yeah, you know with the whole thing about making the Yankee hat more famous than a Yankee can. And the part about if Jesus is paying Lebron, you are paying Dwayne Wade. Really? That's a little over the top, don't you think? Almost comparing yourself to Jesus? But whatevs. I'm not judging, okay? So please don't think I am dissing your wife and also criticizing you. I'm just so pissed about this iTunes thing, you know? I'm like a crazy woman. So anyhoots, that is all. Deuces.)
And just in case I didn't make myself clear enough . . . iTunes SUCKS!!