Friday, February 5, 2010

Heaven on Earth

Okay you guys. So yesterday I went to Hobby Lobby. Have you heard of it? A new one just opened in my 'hood and everywhere you go people are talking about it. There is a hum in the air from people saying "Hobby Lobby" over and over again. So I stopped by to see what all the fuss was about.

Oh my dear friends. Let me tell you. It is GLORIOUS.

It's like a Michaels or Joann combined with a Kirkland. Like all the cool home decor stuff at Marshalls and TJ Maxx mixed in with craft supplies. I know! I'll give you a minute to digest the fabulousness (is too a word) because it can be overwhelming....

Okay. Are we ready to proceed? Do you need a tissue?

So I was on the phone with my mom when I walked through the doors. And it was like one of those moments where your ears start to close and you feel like you are in a tunnel. And then there was this beautiful sparkly bright light and angels were singing and I swear to God I saw Jesus. He was waiving at me from the ribbon aisle.

"Oh my God, Mom," I said breathlessly into my phone. "I'm at Hobby Lobby. I have to go. I can't breathe."

"Where are you?" she asked.

"Hobby Lobby! I can't talk to you. I need to concentrate. Oh sweet Baby Jesus, there's a whole room full of yarn!" And with that I hung up on my own mother.

Yes people. It is that fabulous. It will make you be rude to your loved ones.

I walked around in a complete daze. I didn't know what to do, where to go, what to look at, where to focus my energy. Everything was just so shiny! And fifty freaking percent off! I KNOW!! So I basically just walked around and stared into other people's carts.

"Ooooh," I would say as I passed them. "What are you buying??"

And guess what? Apparently some people don't like that. So yeah. I was that weird girl at Hobby Lobby. Whatevs. I was too overwhelmed by the gloriousness (Is too a word. Yuh-huh.) to care what other people thought.

I walked up and down each aisle, staring at crystals and rhinestones, beading kits, scrapbooking supplies, paper, cake decorating kits, picture frames and stuff to make your own picture frames! Oh my, I am getting all verklempt just thinking about it!

And then! And then I turned left and found myself wandering down an aisle with shelves full of fancy wall decor. Signs and wrought iron swirly thingies with finials and fleur de lis. A framed picture of a golden crown! Fit for a Queen! Fifty percent off!! And excuse me very much for telling you this, but I totally had an orgasm.

I'm sorry. Was that TMI? Are we still friends? Yeah, I may or may not have been asked to leave after that.

Anyhoots. Get your bad selves to Hobby Lobby. At the very least, look it up on the Google. It rocks. Plus it's totally fun to say. Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby. Would it have the same effect if it were called Hobby Attic? Hobby Room? Hobby Closet? Nay, I say. Nay. Part of the magic is all in the name. Those marketing people are wicked smart picking a name that rhymes. Hobby Lobby Hobby Lobby Hobby Lobby. It's like sweet music in my ears!

Oh you guys! My face is all flushed and my palms are all sweaty and my heart is palpitating! Palpitating I tell ya!! I am so in love!! I can't wait to go back to Hobby Lobby and hug it and kiss it and stroke its soft cheeks! I'm totally going back this weekend because I didn't even have the chance to look at the fabric before they kicked me out because I ran out of time. Yes! I said fabric!

I'm outta here. If you need me, you know where to find me. I just hope security lets me back in the store...


Stacey Redish said...

Yawn. Here in Tex-Ass, we have had a Hobby Lobby for about 4 years. But I believe my reaction was about the same as yours, even the orgasm. Wait - my mom reads this and I just said orgasm. Ew. Anyway. And what a coikadink - Scott and I were browsing frames just yesterday at the local HL...and they were ALSO 50% off!!! Oh, did you see all the too-cute-to-throw\-on-the-floor throw pillows? Over by the fabric? Or the dangly lamp shade crystals you can hook on to ANY LAMP SHADE YOU WANT?? But the best thing there? In the furniture aisle (that was also all 35% off). The zebra print ottoman/stool/vanity bench thing that I want to buy and sit on and put my make up on while perched atop of every single day of my life.

Julie said...

I heard whispers of this place called Hobby Lobby when I first moved to Oklahoma four years ago. I went in and basically had the same experience that you did. LOVE LOVE LOVE that place.

A few hints about Hobby Lobby. They have incredible sales. Every other week wall decor will go 50% off. Then the week after that they will have framing at 50% off. Their sales are amazing. Each week they have printable coupons for 40% off any item in the store. Sometimes I print three coupons a week and will go back three times a week to complete whatever project I'm working on. If something is NOT on sale, just wait a week and usually it will be the following week, they run their sales in cycles!

Seriously most awesome store EVER.

Karen R said...

I thought they only sold toy trains and airplanes. And I still have the picture frame, glue and seashells under my bed waiting for me to actually make a seashell picture frame. And I have a needlepoint picture of a cute little lion that's almost finished. I started it when I was pregnant with Stacey. So don't get too carried away. The stuff looks great in the store, but once you get it home and reality of every day busy life hits you, it just ends up in your closet or under your bed.

DutchMac said...

Oh, how this makes me miss The Motherland! Yes, us Midwesterners were let in on the glory that is Hobby Lobby decades ago .... it's about time we selfish ones shared the goods.

Sadly, ClogLand has no concept of anything so Heavenly. I'm so desperate for a Hobby Lobby, I even considered getting people from the US to ship over craft supplies for upcoming festivities here. *sigh!*

I'm so happy you get to share in the joy. Celebrate enough for me too, would ya?

Andrea said...

Remember what you said to me when I told you I had never been to Marshalls? Well I ask you the same thing, "How in the hell have YOU never been to Hobby Lobby?" That place is Disneyland in Arizona sweetie! The first time I walked in, I felt the exact same way...okay, so EVERYTIME I walk in there I feel that way. They have everything you need in one place. And they have stuff that Michaels and JoAnn's aren't smart enough to carry...and hello...they are CHEAP! It is a crafters paradise and I spend an hour in there everytime I go...geez, I think I am going to have to go right now! XOXOX love you!

WILLIAM said...

I will be forwarding this post to my wife. Thankfully we do not have a Hobby Lobby near us.

Trisha said...

From one person who talks to strangers in stores to another - I agree Hobby Lobby is wonderful!