Oh my dear friends. Let me tell you. It is GLORIOUS.
It's like a Michaels or Joann combined with a Kirkland. Like all the cool home decor stuff at Marshalls and TJ Maxx mixed in with craft supplies. I know! I'll give you a minute to digest the fabulousness (is too a word) because it can be overwhelming....
Okay. Are we ready to proceed? Do you need a tissue?
So I was on the phone with my mom when I walked through the doors. And it was like one of those moments where your ears start to close and you feel like you are in a tunnel. And then there was this beautiful sparkly bright light and angels were singing and I swear to God I saw Jesus. He was waiving at me from the ribbon aisle.
"Oh my God, Mom," I said breathlessly into my phone. "I'm at Hobby Lobby. I have to go. I can't breathe."
"Where are you?" she asked.
"Hobby Lobby! I can't talk to you. I need to concentrate. Oh sweet Baby Jesus, there's a whole room full of yarn!" And with that I hung up on my own mother.
Yes people. It is that fabulous. It will make you be rude to your loved ones.
I walked around in a complete daze. I didn't know what to do, where to go, what to look at, where to focus my energy. Everything was just so shiny! And fifty freaking percent off! I KNOW!! So I basically just walked around and stared into other people's carts.
"Ooooh," I would say as I passed them. "What are you buying??"
And guess what? Apparently some people don't like that. So yeah. I was that weird girl at Hobby Lobby. Whatevs. I was too overwhelmed by the gloriousness (Is too a word. Yuh-huh.) to care what other people thought.
I walked up and down each aisle, staring at crystals and rhinestones, beading kits, scrapbooking supplies, paper, cake decorating kits, picture frames and stuff to make your own picture frames! Oh my, I am getting all verklempt just thinking about it!
And then! And then I turned left and found myself wandering down an aisle with shelves full of fancy wall decor. Signs and wrought iron swirly thingies with finials and fleur de lis. A framed picture of a golden crown! Fit for a Queen! Fifty percent off!! And excuse me very much for telling you this, but I totally had an orgasm.
I'm sorry. Was that TMI? Are we still friends? Yeah, I may or may not have been asked to leave after that.
Anyhoots. Get your bad selves to Hobby Lobby. At the very least, look it up on the Google. It rocks. Plus it's totally fun to say. Hobby Lobby. Hobby Lobby. Would it have the same effect if it were called Hobby Attic? Hobby Room? Hobby Closet? Nay, I say. Nay. Part of the magic is all in the name. Those marketing people are wicked smart picking a name that rhymes. Hobby Lobby Hobby Lobby Hobby Lobby. It's like sweet music in my ears!
Oh you guys! My face is all flushed and my palms are all sweaty and my heart is palpitating! Palpitating I tell ya!! I am so in love!! I can't wait to go back to Hobby Lobby and hug it and kiss it and stroke its soft cheeks! I'm totally going back this weekend because I didn't even have the chance to look at the fabric
I'm outta here. If you need me, you know where to find me. I just hope security lets me back in the store...