Friday, January 1, 2010

Reflections

Oh what a year I have had.

This has been a year where I have discovered a lot about myself. Some things good, some things not so good. I have grown this year. I am stronger. I have a little bit of a thicker skin. I see things from an entirely different perspective. In some ways this is all for the better, but in other ways, maybe not. I think this year has made me a little more cynical. A little less trusting of others. A little more guarded than I have ever been before.

I used to be a person who would tell you anything you wanted to know. And some things maybe you didn't want to know. But this year, I learned my lesson about confiding too much. I learned my lesson about opening up too much. And unfortunately I learned that sometimes the people you trust the most are the people that hurt you the most.

I lost some friends this year. Actually no, let's say it like this: I found out who my friends were this year. Some were a surprise, others not so much. And regardless of the circumstances, it hurts to lose people from your life. Especially when you have closure issues like I do. But I know it's for the best. 

I made a few decisions this year about how I will continue to live my life. Things I need to do for my health, mental or physical. Life is too short to be unhappy. Life is too short to be miserable. Life is too short to feel like an obligation is a burden. Are you following me? No? I know, I am being kind of vague.

I know this is sounding a little more melancholy than I mean for it to. I am not sad about the year I have had. A lot of good came out of this year. And I finally feel like things are back on track for this family. I am thankful this year went by as quickly as it did. It was like ripping a band aid off, you know? And I am nervous about what the new year will bring, but I know I can handle it. Because I have Uberman, and my amazing babies, my incredibly supportive family, and a group of fabulous friends that lift my spirits on a daily basis.

I am thankful to every person who reads this blog. It continually amazes me that people come to this place every day to read about my life. Seriously, if any of us ever met in person, you would be so disappointed.

So here's to another year! May it bring happiness and joy, prosperity and adventure, blessings and successful resolutions.

Or it could just not suck.

10 comments:

The Fat Chick said...

HAPPY NEW YEAR!

Stacey said...

I hear you. I SO hear you.

Here's to a better year!

Chris said...

May 2010 bring you great joy and happiness.

Coffee Bean said...

Happy New Year April! And I would so not be disappointed!

kristen s said...

Oh April, there is not ONE person who would be disappointed to meet you face to face. They would actually be disappointed that they've only had the pleasure of reading these blog posts when watching you tell a story in person is even MORE entertaining! Once they saw the animation behind the expressive hand gestures, eye rolls, direct stares and big, beautiful smile, merely reading your posts just wouldn't be good enough anymore. Everyone would start insisting that you create a video blog intead..... which I think they should do anyway! Come on, people! Make her do it! You're all missing out!!!

(and I SOOO better be getting to see you in person in 2010...)

Chris H said...

Like you, I worry that if anyone who reads my blog were to meet me they would be disappointed too! Weird our self esteem eh?
I hope this year does not suck too... but with a court trial coming up for one of our sons.. it will. SUCK.

Caitlin said...

Ohhh, Apes. I just know 2010 will be better for you guys.
While it is often bittersweet finding out who your true friends are, in the end I think it's SO much better. After all, who needs em? I know it sounds trite, but seriously, it's so true. Simplify, man. I have come to the realization that there are so few people in this world with whom it's possible to cultivate a truly meaningful, mutual-appreciation, even-footed, even amount of give-and-take kind of relationship, that, well, I guess I shouldn't be surprised when all relationships don't go that way. AND YET. It's a lesson I seem to have to learn repeatedly :)

LOVE YOU.

WILLIAM said...

Hi April.

Like a broken vaccuum cleaner.

Bogart in P Towne said...

God Bless and Happy New Year. Looking forward to reading about more of your adventures.

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