Yeah. So....What's new?
I'm not going to make excuses for myself. I haven't posted in over a week. Thought you might like to see what I have been up to. So here is a glimpse....
The smartest thing I did this week -
Kept my mouth shut. I know. I can't believe it either.
The dumbest thing I did this week -
Snapped myself in the face with a rubber band. Don't ask. My job is straight up dangerous, yo. Like working on an oil rig or deep sea crab fishing. Or bottle feeding kittens.
My favorite song this week -
Hot Mess by Cobra Starship
Most ridiculous telephone conversation I had this week -
Me: Thank you for calling [Bank of Awesome], this is April. How can I help you?
Caller: Um, yeah... Where are you located?
What I wanted to say: We're on the corner of Get on Your Computer and Google Map It.
What I actually said: We are conveniently located on the south west corner of [Such & Such] Avenue and [This] Street in the [Fancy Overpriced Grocery Store] Plaza.
Caller: Wow, that's like really far. I need one closer.
Caller: Hello? Are you still there?
What I wanted to say: Unfortunately yes.
What I actually said: Yes I am.
Caller (exasperated): Well, do you have a location closer to me?
Me: I am sure we do. Where are you??
Caller: Oh. Sorry. I guess you need to know that.
Me: It can be helpful.
Funniest conversation I had with one of my kids this week -
Me (poking junior in his big dimples): Junior, does it bother you when I do this?
He (laughing): No, you've always done that.
Me: So when you're really old -
He: Like 45?
Me: Um. Yeah. Old like 45.... Will you still let me do it?
He: Yes. Well . . . if you're still alive.
Weekly example that I am the greatest mother. Ever (actual email sent to teacher) -
Dear Mrs. Fourth Grade Teacher,
Mornings are crazy in our house. Are they crazy in yours? I mean I am a screaming psycho in the morning - "Get your shoes! Comb your hair! Where is your lunch? We have to GO!!!" I am always in a hurry and rushing the kids out the door.
Unfortunately, in my rush out the door this morning, I failed to sign Mac's folder and left it sitting on the counter. He tried to tell me, but being the incredible attentive mother I am, I shooshed him and pushed him out the door. (Gently of course.)
So please forgive him for not bringing in the folder today. He was very worried about missing recess and it is all my fault. And also, please make sure you spell my name correctly when you nominate me for mother of the year.
Thank you and have a fabulous day.
Biggest bummer of the week -
My iPod is stuck on shuffle. Usually I keep it on shuffle, but I think it's just pissing me off that I can't un-shuffle it, you know?
Most awesome thing to happen this week -
Made it to round two of interviews for a new job. Thank you Jesus. There's a light at the end of the tunnel.
So that's what I have been up to. What have you been doing?
Oh and I forgot to tell you guys, my BFF Raia started a blog! Check it out here and give her some love. Peace out.