Friday, December 4, 2009

This is what happens when you jumble up the words Counterfeit and Duplicate.

So I was at work yesterday and apparently I was a little preoccupied with the fact that my husband may or may not have been kidnapped, I mean a situation like that does kind of impair your ability to focus, am I right? But this client came in and was asking me about possibly purchasing travelers checques.

Now first off I am not a fan of travelers checques. Mainly for the reason that they are a ginormous pain in the ass to give or receive. So I ask him where he is traveling to and he says Hawaii.

Hawaii. Really? You need travelers checques to go to Hawaii?

Whatever.

Anyway, I am really good at not selling them. Because they are such a ginormous pain in the ass and all. My secret is to list all the cons and make it sound like you would rather get travelers diarrhea than carry around these tiny booklets of paper. I start by telling him there is a 3% fee to purchase them. And then I tell him how many merchants no longer accept them and they are really an outdated form of payment blah blah blah, yadda yadda yadda. The easiest way to pay for things while travelling is to use your Visa debit card as a credit transaction. No fees, plus you'll earn points towards your rewards. See? A win win. Now dude, please get out of here so I can go back to trying to track down my missing spouse. Sheesh.

Now this is where the distracted part comes in..

Ahem.

He asks me why don't many merchants accept them anymore.

So I, being the articulate sales person that I am, explain . . .

"Merchants don't accept them because they are so easy to fornicate."

Uh-huh. FORNICATE. I really said that. Out loud. To a CLIENT. Yeah. Awesome.

So of course, right away I clear my throat, giggle a little and say:

"I'm sorry. Coun-ter-feit. They are very easy to counterfeit. So . . . um . . . yeah. That's why." Next my face turned about 8 shades of hot pink and then I died.

Luckily the guy was foreign, so I think the language barrier was already an issue. He just nodded and agreed it would be easier to use his debit card.

And yes, much easier than fornicating with all those merchants. Good Lord. This is my real life, people. Welcome. Please, make yourselves at home.

6 comments:

Chris H said...

YOU have fornication on the BRAIN is all!
Ya grubby tart you!

"Intentionally Katie" said...

LOL - I have tears in my eyes! Only you, April...

Karen R said...

That's a riot.

The Maid said...

If we only knew how many people had used their currency for fornication...I mean the mind goes wild......

Yep..those little plastic cards are so much safer!!! :)

You crazy girl!

DevilsHeaven said...

Wait, What?? I thought you were concerned about Ubes being kidnap, where does fornicating work into that??????
LMAO!!!!!!!!!

WILLIAM said...

Just make sure you use a condom when you counterfiet.