Tuesday, December 29, 2009

Confessional - The Holidays Edition!

So this is gonna be a quick post but I feel guilty I have not posted in weeks but it's the holidays and I am busy and I am actually on vacation right now with my family at Knotts Berry Farm which means I have been riding roller coasters and eating fried chicken and biscuits with guess what???? Knotts Berry Farm strawberry preserves. Which explains the sugar rush, doesn't it??

So on with the confessions!

Lat Wednesday was Christmas Eve Eve, and after work I opened a bottle of wine while I wrapped presents (stop judging, my kids were at my mom's, okay?). Well I would take a sip, wrap a little, take another sip, maybe top it off, tie some bows . . . and the next thing you know . . . I had consumed an enite bottle of wine by myself. And I was SLOSHED.

Which leads to my next confession.... In my wine and wrapping paper induced stupor, I may or may not have slipped down my stairs and broken my ass. Which is not convenient when you are spending seven hours in a car the day after Christmas to drive to Knotts Berry Farm. And is not convenient when you are riding rides that bounce you around like a bouncy ball.

Because of the broken ass, I make a very funny noise when getting up from a seated position. I sound a little like a seal?? A walrus?? Some kind of water inhabiting mammal. It is not good.

Did I mention I am in pain? A lot of pain? Because I broke my drunk ass?? So I am a little grumpy?? And I may have yelled at the carousel operator because he was taking way tooooo long to start up the mother freaking carousel? And  Boo insisted I ride the horse next to hers? And do you have any idea how uncomfortable a fake plastic horse is when you have a broken ass??

Too be continued... Going back to the park....

2 comments:

Chris H said...

You poor 'broken ass' girl! .... wine is EVIL stuff... it makes me drunk as a skunk after just 1-2 glasses! I really do hope YOU ARE feeling better (in the ass) soon!

Stacey said...

Judging from the lack of spell check, I'd say you may still be drunk.