1. O Holy Night by Josh Groban - I don't know what it is about Josh. I am just not a fan. And the "holiday station" we have here in Phoenix plays this song at least once every 5 minutes. O Holy Something Else. Enough already.
2. Feliz Navidad by Celine Dion - I am sorry but there is something wrong with an over dramatic French Canadian belting out a song in Spanish. Frankly, it pisses me off.
3. Merry Christmas Darling by The Carpenters - I have hated this song since I was child. Why does she sing so slowly and over anunciate every word? Is it the lack of nutrition? The lack of energy? Whatever it is, I will starve myself right here and now if I never have to hear that song again. (I know. I'm totally going to hell for making anorexia jokes. Not funny.)
4. I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus by Jessica Simpson - Obviously this was recorded when she still thought she was so cute. I can't stand how she doesn't pronounce the "r" sound in beard. Makes me want to sceam.
5. Sleigh Ride by Debbie Gibson - "It's Deborah Gibson, by the way." Thank you Ubes. I don't care if it's Debbie, Deborah, Deb or Dumb Dumb. She killed this song for me.
6. Happy Xmas by John Lennon & the Plastic Ono Band - You know that part in the chorus where you can hear Yoko
7. Caroling, Caroling by Natalie Cole - This song gets stuck in you head like a tumor. Ding Dong, Ding Dong! Somebody pass the Tylenol.
8. Favorite Time of Year by Kenny Rogers - It's everyone's favorite time Kenny. Get over yourself. Go back to your card game and leave Christmas to those who know it best - Bing Crosby, Andy Williams and the lovely boys of Wham. Thank you for your cooperation.
9. Christmas Time is Here by The Peanuts Gang - Is it just me or is this the most depressing song ever? All sad and melancholy. Whenever I hear it I want to start popping prozac. And then go skating on the thinnest ice covering a lake in the middle of no where. All alone.
10. Joy to the World by Mariah Carey - It's just too much. Too over the top. Too loud. Too much screeching. Too much choir. Too Las Vegas or something. I find no joy. None.
And just relax, tomorrow I will be doing my list of songs that make me want to dance around in a Santa suit mini dress and go go boots. (Dude, if you're going to shake your ass in a Santa suit mini dress you have to have the boots. And fishnets. Duh.)(Does Spanx make a fishnet? Anyone?)(Oh you know I am so looking that up right now on The Google.)