Saturday, November 21, 2009

Once upon a time there was a bossy girl and a boy who played the drums....

I'm home. The wedding was fabulous. The flower girl is sleeping. And my feet are pissed at me. And since it was a Catholic wedding, I am all set on cardio for the week.

I love weddings. So full of promise and hope and excitement for the future. I got very emotional during the ceremony. This day has been a long time coming, and I am so excited about all of the possibilities that are waiting for them.

So my advice for this new couple, seeing that I have exactly 15 years and six months of marriage under my belt, and am therefore, an expert in all things marriage related....
  • Decide right now where you are spending your holidays.
  • Share the household chores. If she cooks, he should clean up and vice/versa.
  • Set a budget and stick to it.
  • If you disagree, talk it out. If you start holding your feelings in, resentment will build.
  • Listen to each other.
  • If you are wrong, admit it. Say sorry. And mean it.
  • When the fight is over, move on. Don't keep bringing up the past.
  • It's okay to be angry once in a while. But eventually you have to get over it. Set a time limit on it and then move on.
  • Have a date night as often as you can. It's important to spend time together. Maintain your friendship.
  • When you have babies, add them into your life. Don't let them become the center. It's not good for either of you. You were a couple before the babies came and you still need to be a couple when the babies grow up and move away. 
  • Marriage isn't a game, so don't keep score.
  • Appreciate each other's differences. Learn from each other.
  • Laugh. Laugh a lot. 
  • Take turns picking the movie. It will eliminate many arguments in the future. Trust me.
  • When things get difficult (and they will), stand strong together. You will get through it faster if you are a united front.
  • Do what works for you. Some people my not understand your relationship, but it's not their place. Don't let the judgments of others change how you see yourselves.
  • And always, always - compromise. Be fair. Be reasonable. And no pouting when you don't get your way.
Congratulations to The Teacher and The Drummer. I know you will have a long and happy life together. Now go make some babies!



DutchMac said...

Amen to all the above. It's great advice. When I got married and people were handing out advice, my grandmother could only ever get as far as saying 'After the ceremony, you and Big Chief get busy and get me a great-grandbaby.'

I'm not sure I've ever gotten over my grandmother telling me to 'get busy.'

Congrats to the happy new couple.

Caitlin said...

April, as a newlwed whom you also enjoy instructing to Go Make Babies, I have to say, I really appreciated this post and all this advice. I know you & Ubes have a great relationship - one I admire - and I like feeling like I now have a little insider information on it :)

Chris H said...

Your list is absolutely FANTASTIC, I totally agree with everything on it. (Stew and I live by those points listed, it works)

I am gunna copy the list and use it one day on my blog... so there! lol

Kristin said...

Did we really need to be told how much experience you have under your belt?