I love weddings. So full of promise and hope and excitement for the future. I got very emotional during the ceremony. This day has been a long time coming, and I am so excited about all of the possibilities that are waiting for them.
So my advice for this new couple, seeing that I have exactly 15 years and six months of marriage under my belt, and am therefore, an expert in all things marriage related....
- Decide right now where you are spending your holidays.
- Share the household chores. If she cooks, he should clean up and vice/versa.
- Set a budget and stick to it.
- If you disagree, talk it out. If you start holding your feelings in, resentment will build.
- Listen to each other.
- If you are wrong, admit it. Say sorry. And mean it.
- When the fight is over, move on. Don't keep bringing up the past.
- It's okay to be angry once in a while. But eventually you have to get over it. Set a time limit on it and then move on.
- Have a date night as often as you can. It's important to spend time together. Maintain your friendship.
- When you have babies, add them into your life. Don't let them become the center. It's not good for either of you. You were a couple before the babies came and you still need to be a couple when the babies grow up and move away.
- Marriage isn't a game, so don't keep score.
- Appreciate each other's differences. Learn from each other.
- Laugh. Laugh a lot.
- Take turns picking the movie. It will eliminate many arguments in the future. Trust me.
- When things get difficult (and they will), stand strong together. You will get through it faster if you are a united front.
- Do what works for you. Some people my not understand your relationship, but it's not their place. Don't let the judgments of others change how you see yourselves.
- And always, always - compromise. Be fair. Be reasonable. And no pouting when you don't get your way.