Here she is:
Yeah. Okay. I wouldn't be caught dead in that outfit, but whatever.
Apparently several people think so - my MIL, her two BFF's, my BIL, my SIL and even my FIL. What the heck? My FIL did say it was only because I "sort of" looked like her. But my SIL told me she didn't think I looked like her at all. She thought our personalities were similar. But I shouldn't take it the wrong way, it wasn't a bad thing.
"Really?" I asked. "My personality is similar to a horrible, evil, awful woman and this isn't a bad thing?"
"Well," she said, obviously feeling uncomfortable, "I think it's because she is so blunt and . . . well . . . um . . . so are you." And then she made up some story about one of her kids needing to get out of the shower and said she had to go.
This is so not okay.
Another friend recently told me I reminded her of that dingy chick on the progressive commercial. You know the one:
Yeah. She's pretty and her nose is adorable. I'd be okay with that. But it's not that I look like her. Again, it's that I have a similar personality.
People used to tell me I reminded them of Shannen Doherty, back in Shannen's hot mess of a 90210 hey day.
What is it? The one eye significantly lower than the other? The look that says "I'm wearing last night's makeup"? Or was it Shannen's whiny, stubborn character Brenda?
So I ask you, dear readers, how is it that I have any friends? Who wants to hang out with a goofy, dingy, evil bitch?
I thought it was okay to be strong. I thought it was okay to be funny. I thought being confident was a good thing. Today I'm not so sure.
But I guess what it all boils down to is how do I feel about myself? I'm strong. I'm goofy. I'm loud and uncoordinated. I'm competetive and sensitive and I call it like I see it. I can be brave when I have to be and believe it or not, there are a lot of things I don't say. I am passionate about what I believe, but that doesn't keep me from respecting what you believe. I am always late and I can be flaky. I suck at time management but I am really good at relating to people. I look at the world through a glass half full. My heart hurts when I know you are in pain. I give. A lot. And sometimes I say things without thinking. I make bad choices with food and I don't exercise. I could lose a few pounds but I like my eyes and I think my feet are perfect. And you know what else? I would rather be curvy than stick thin. I say what I feel, good or bad. And you always know where you stand with me. I don't say it if I don't mean it. I don't give up. Even if I know I can't win. Sometimes I take things too personally. I'm judgemental, even though I don't want to be and I hate it when people judge me. I'm loyal. And it breaks my heart to hurt someone's feelings. Even if they deserve it.
I'm not perfect.
But I'm okay with me. Good and bad. I would rather be strong than weak. I would rather be confident than insecure. I would rather be goofy and silly than boring and dull.
I would rather be me.
(I feel the need to clarify that in no way did I mean to indicate my family was being intentionally hurtful with their comments. I have an amazing relationship with all of my in laws and I am so proud to be a part of this family. Maybe I am taking this too personally. Or maybe we should all reconsider telling someone they remind them of someone who is unfavorable?? Either way, none of these comments were said to me negatively. And this post was not meant to be negative. This is my place to talk about my feelings and vent. That is all.)