Saturday, October 17, 2009

Faulty

I realize I spend a lot of time here complaining about the stupidity of others. This may come across as me thinking I am superior or whatever, but I can assure you that is not the case. I have faults. I do. Believe me, there is no one out there more aware of those faults than this girl right here. I mean I am with myself all day. There is no one more sick of me than I am. Oh, trust me on that one.

So a few weeks ago I was reading one of the blogs I frequent and she had this really cool post listing some of her faults. I loved the introspection that occurred after I read it. And since then I have been sort of cataloging my own. Here's a list of the ones I can think of right now:

I am forgetful - I can never remember if I locked my car or the house. I forget to send in lunch money for the kids until they are completely out and the lunch lady is threatening to make them eat a cheese sandwich. If you let me borrow something, you need to remind me to give it back to you. Oh I will remember I have it, I will just never remember to return it. If Ubes asks me to run errand for him, 9 times out of ten I will forget. Even if it's on my way home. I leave cabinet doors and drawers open. Not because I am too lazy to close them, but because I walk away and forget to close them.

I am easily distracted - I will leave the water running in the sink to do dishes, and go into another room to put something way, get sidetracked with something else and will forget about the water. (See? Also counts as forgetful.) I will be cooking dinner and will run upstairs to check my email or look up a recipe and next thing you know the kids are yelling the house is full of smoke and the chicken is a little too Cajun. (I do this at least once a week.)

I'm a terrible driver - see above about being easily distracted.

I'm a procrastinator - I work best under pressure. But I put everything off. And every year at Christmas I say I won't do this, but I am always up until all hours of the morning on Christmas Eve wrapping presents that are just going to be ripped open in a few hours.

I have no filter - I say the wrong thing at the wrong time all the time. My thoughts turn into words and the words get a mind of their own and just come flying out of my mouth before I can stop them. And most of the time the inappropriate things sound so much funnier in my head...

I can't hide my emotions - My face will tell you exactly what I am thinking at all times. I'm an eye roller. A face maker. A loud exhaler. An eyebrow raiser. A smirker. Oh yes, I am definitely one who smirks.

I'm loud - I don't have an inside voice. At all. I talk loud, especially if I am excited. I react loudly. I laugh loud. I get more loud when I am angry. And I get super pissed if we are having a conversation and Ubes says "Why are you screaming at me?" Most of the time I am not aware I have raised my voice so much. Sometimes when I raise my voice, I also raise the octave. So I squeak. And Raia will say to me "Sweetie, only dogs can you hear now."

I can't bake decent brownies to save my life - No matter how many times I try they are either too crispy around the edges, not done enough in the middle, too gooey or too flat. And they never cut into nice squares, the edges are always too jagged. And yet I can't give up on my dream of perfect brownies. I keep trying. I use different pans and different brands of oil and different brands of eggs. But no. Every. Single. Time. Bad brownies. It's so disappointing.

I have unrealistic expectations - I don't thing I need to explain this one.

I like chick flicks - Even though they are all dumb and all the same. I can't help it. I love them. You give me the whole boy meets girl, girl hates boy, they fight, and they realize they love each other in the end - I am so there. You throw Meg Ryan and a box of milk duds in and I am in Heaven for two hours.

I am chubby - see "milk duds" above.

I am unorganized - Actually I should change this one to I am overwhelmed. I let things get out of control and then I have big mess I don't want to deal with. But I am tired of this and slowly I have been making a dent in this one.

I have the disease to please - I have a hard time saying no. I do things I don't want to do. I volunteer for things I don't have time for. This adds to the feeling for being overwhelmed. I tend to take on too much. This drives Ubes CRAZY. And then I am torn. Knowing my disease to please is going to end up displeasing someone. I don't deal with this well at all.

I worry - Even though I may not have control over something, I still waste the energy on worrying about it. There are times when I constantly have a knot in my stomach about all the things on my mind. And yet I am the first one to tell someone not to worry about stuff. I don't practice what I preach. Which I guess could be a fault all its own.

And finally....

I can be too hard on myself. See also Unrealistic Expectations.

5 comments:

Kristi said...

You are wonderful! That is quite a list. We are loved for our faults, you know, not our perfection. :)

"Intentionally Katie" said...

Wow. I had no idea. I think I need to rethink our friendship...

Thanks for the transparency, but I still think your "take" on the stupid people in the world around you is beyond hilarious. Whether it makes you sound superior or not. Hilarious. All the time.

DutchMac said...

Amen to imperfections! I am FULL of them, and choose to believe it's part of my charm. Hmmmm, maybe I should add 'delusional' to my list of faults.

Anyway, if it helps on one of yours, I learned that the less you whisk the eggs and the less you stir the brownie batter, the less crispy the top will be. So just BARELY mix the eggs together before adding to the dry ingredients and then just BARELY fold everything together until it's mixed in. Also, bake them at a lower temperature for a longer amount of time. These have actually helped me in my quest for the perfect brownie, so I wish you all the best luck!

DevilsHeaven said...

I am almost an exact mirror of you. I could never be a poker player. F says the same to me that Ubes says to you, Why are you yelling?
I worry. I filter, to a point.
I can't help you with flat, overdone, underdone brownies, but here is a pan that will make them nice and square, says so in the write up:
http://www.bedbathandbeyond.com/product.asp?order_num=-1&SKU=14843396

aschmoel said...

your memory is better than you think! Especially since I said that thing about only dogs hearing you over 10 years ago! :)