Friday, September 4, 2009

Crazy

So I am leaving in 7 hours. And as usual I have my head up my ass. I should be sleeping so I can start my trip fresh and well rested. But no. I am still packing. Ironing. Doing laundry. Cleaning. Writing tips and rules and important info for my Mama, who is graciously coming to stay with my monkeys so I can escape them and come back refreshed and rejuvenated and ready to continue my journey of craziness motherhood.

Why do I do this? Why?? Why??? I always wait until the last minute to do anything.

So this is my schedule, just because I know you are so interested. It goes like this:

Saturday - Avoid dying in a plane crash en route to Fort Lauderdale. Hang out with Dee and her hubby Schlampe (pronounced SHLAHM-PAY, it's German for "Slut", long story), spend the night at a La Quinta (Fancy!).

Sunday - Get on the boat. Hang out with Dee and Schlampe. Drink copious amounts of fruity, overpriced umbrella drinks.

Monday - MY BIRTHDAY!!! Celebrate my awesomeness by hanging out with Schlampe and Dee in Key West BABY!! Drink copious amounts of fruity umbrella drinks. Eat some cake. Make people sing to me. Remind everyone every half hour that it is my birthday and I get to do whatever I want.

Tuesday - At sea all day. Hang out with Schlampe and Dee and drink copious amounts of fruity umbrella drinks.

Wednesday - Get off the boat and announce "Hello GRAND CAYMAN!! I have arrived!!" Schlampe and Dee will be hanging out with some stingrays. No thanks. Ubes and I will roam the island of Grand Cayman while drinking copious amounts of fruity umbrella drinks.

Thursday - Get off the boat and announce "What's up Jamaica?? Are we in Mexico??" Hang out with Schlampe and Dee at some waterfall. Avoid encounters with anal seeking parasites (totally saw this bit of advice on the Travel Channel). Drink copious amounts of fruity umbrella drinks. Take a ride on the bobsled.

Friday - At sea. Hang out with Schlampe and Dee. Drink copious amounts of fruity umbrella drinks. Maybe read a book.

Saturday - Return to Fort Lauderdale. Avoid death by plane crash to return to Phoenix. Hug my babies. Thank my Mama. Remember to schedule appointment on Monday to see doctor about possible liver repair...

Oh and guess what?? I have a surprise for you!! Guess who has decided to guest post for me next week while I am drinking copious amounts of fruity umbrella drinks??? The LOVELY AND TALENTED KRISTEN!!! I can hardly wait to read what she has to say. Maybe she will FINALLY start her own blog!! Fingers crossed people.

Peace out!

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