Saturday, September 26, 2009

20 Songs

The Boy and I have been having a lot of discussions about music lately. The radio station at work is stuck on one of those 80's, 90's and Nickelback stations that plays the same 20 songs over and over again. We even made up a radio bingo game . . . until we got in trouble. Apparently our boss thought it was unprofessional to shout out "Bingo!" with customers in the lobby, but whatever. Now you know why we never ask her to play Office Hide & Seek. She sucks at hiding. But I digress.

So earlier this week The Boy posted a list of ten songs on his own blog (which I will not link for obvious reasons, but you people are totally missing out) that he never wants to hear again. His actual words were "10 songs I would rather stick my weiner in a meat grinder than have to listen to again." For fun, I thought I would play along but up the ante a little. So without further ado:

Twenty Songs I Never Want to Hear Again. EVER:

1. "I want to know what love is" by Foreigner. Mariah Carey just did a cover of this piece of crap and it makes me hate her even more.

2. "Arms wide open" by Creed. I once decided I didn't like a person based on the fact that she said she loved this song. That was it. Friendship over. If you think these crappy lyrics are deep and thought provoking, we have nothing further to discuss.

3. "The Wall" by Pink Floyd. Yes, the entire album just creeps me out. (I realize this is more than one song, but these are my rules, okay?)

4. "The Macarena" by who really cares. You know the song I am talking about. I'm not really a fan of any song where some type of line dancing is involved.

5. "Drive" by The Cars. I hated this song the first time I heard it. When I was 13. I have hated this song for 25 years. It sucks.

6. "Sussudio" by Phil Collins. I don't think I have to explain myself here.

7. Pretty much any song by REM. (Again, my rules.)

8. "You raise me up" by Josh Groban. This has to be the cheesiest song ever recorded. Even the guys from Air Supply are probably laughing at this song.

9. "Hey there Delilah" by The Plain White T's. Yeah it was cute the first 400 times I heard it, but duuuuuude. Any radio station still playing this song should be ashamed of themselves.

10. "Crazy in love" by Beyonce. I am grinding my teeth just typing this. Seriously. I don't understand the world's fascination with this woman. Is it just me? It can't be just me. I mean she is NOT GOOD. Right? RIGHT??? (Just nod your head yes, I will feel better.)

11. "Every Morning" by Sugar Ray. This song is so stupid. And it gets stuck in your head which makes it even more annoying.

12. "I've gotta feeling" by the Black Eyed Peas. I don't care if you have a feeling, you are ruining my night by singing this song over and over again.

13. "Every time you go away" by Paul Young. This song reminds me of the summer between 8th and 9th grade. It was on the radio every other song. To this day it irritates me.

14. "Low Places" by Garth Brooks. Or pretty much anything from Garth Brooks.

15. "Santeria" by Sublime. I hate this song. It makes my ears hurt. And it contains bad grammar.

16. "Spiderwebs" by No Doubt. The most annoying song ever recorded. Not much of a No Doubt/Gwen Stefani fan anyway, but this song stands out as being a headache inducer.

17. "Got my mind set on you" by George Harrison. I don't think I have to elaborate here. It's stupid.

18. Neil Diamond's entire catalog. And yes Red Sox fans, that includes Sweet Caroline.

19. Barbra Streisand's entire catalog. (And there goes my gay male audience.)

20. "Your body is a wonderland" by John Mayer. Really, anything by John Mayer. This guy is king of the douche bags.

And now... 20 Songs I LOVE:

1. "When you say nothing at all" by Ronan Keating or Allison Krause. One of my all time favorite songs.

2. "Groovy kind of love" by Phil Collins. Our song.

3. "Sway" by Michael Buble. Makes me want to sway, ya know?

4. "The Wind Blows" by All American Rejects. I love this song. So sad and beautiful at the same time.

5. "Beautiful Disaster" by Kelly Clarkson. Not a huge Kelly Clarkson fan, but I love this. She sings it live on her Breakaway album and she sounds amazing.

6. "Here without you" by 3 Doors Down. I don't know why I love this song, I just do.

7. "Like a stone" by Audioslave. I love Chris Cornell. He could sing the names out of the phone book and he would have my undivided attention.

8. "She sells sanctuary" by The Cult. This song makes me want to roll the windows down and go on a road trip.

9. "I'll be" by Edwin McCain. I am a sucker for songs about love.

10. "Lucky" by Jason Mraz and Colbie Caillat. The cutest, sweetest song ever. It makes me happy.

11. "SexyBack" by Justin Timberlake. If this song doesn't make you want to dance you need to see a doctor because there is something wrong with you.

12. "Outside" by Staind. I know it's a little cliche, but I love the lyrics. It's kinda deep, man.

13. "I don't care" by Fall Out Boy. Yeah, I hate them too, but this song has a catchy beat and you can dance to it.

14. "Con Te Partiro" by Andrea Bocelli. This song makes me swoon even though I have no idea what the hell he is saying.

15. Almost anything by Josh Kelley. Love him.

16. "Sweet child o' mine" by Guns N' Roses. I know. Who knew I had a little rock 'n roll in me.

17. "At last" by Etta James. Oh shut up, you love it too.

18. "I can only imagine" by Mercy Me. Will forever remind me of my Grandpa Z. I miss him and his infinite wisdom.

19. "What a wonderful world" by Louie Armstrong. Again, cliche. But it still gives me chills and makes me a little teary eyed.

20. "Have I told you lately" by Van Morrison. I love his raspy voice singing these soft lyrics. It's sweet.

And now.... 20 Songs I am embarrassed to admit that I love:

1. "My heart will go on," by Celine Dion. And you love it too, you know you do.

2. "Can't fight this feeling" by REO Speedwagon. Eighth grade, my first slow dance. I totally can't remember his name. Eddie? No... Mike?? I can't believe I can't remember his name. John? Oh forget it. Who really cares?

3. "Sailing" by Christopher Cross. I realize this makes me old. And uncool. But I am going to go one step further and tell you right here in front of everyone, I celebrate his entire catalog.

4. "Angels" by Jessica Simpson. I know. I am so ashamed.

5. "Up where we belong." By Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes. Yep. Love it.

6. "Against all odds" by Phil Collins. Wow, he made all three lists. Go Phil!

7. "Light on" by David Cook. I know, it's a dumb song and it got played to death. But I can't help it. I love it.

8. "All out of love" by Air Supply. And if you are sitting there shaking your head and making clucking noises with your tongue, you are fooling yourself. You know it, I know it, everyone knows it. This song is awesome.

9. "Low" by Flo Rida. I can't even make excuses for myself here.

10. "Teacher" by George Michael. Is it just me or are these getting more embarrassing by the minute?

11. "You ain't much fun" by Toby Keith. This song is a whole bunch of fun.

12. "Here I go again" by Whitesnake. Makes me want to climb on the hood of my car and flip my hair around. Except for the major amount of damage it would cause the car. And my hair.

13. "I will always love you" by Whitney Houston. I actually had this CD taken away from me for playing it over and over again at work. Oh my God that was like 18 years ago. Now I am depressed.

14. "Some guys" by Rod Stewart. Yeah. I actually cringed typing that.

15. "Wind beneath my wings" by Bette Midler. Super cheesy, but fabulous.

16. "Girls on film" by Duran Duran. I could have a whole category of just Duran Duran. That's how sick I am.

17. "Never gonna give you up" by Rick Astley. Can't help but sing along.

18. "You got the look" by Prince. This song is awesome.

19. "Bye bye bye" by N-Sync. Yep. Stop judging me.

And the most embarrassing of them all....

20. "Key Largo" by Bertie Higgins. You know you are totally Googling that song right now.

So share some of yours. It's fun and all your friends are doin' it.


Kristi said...

Oh my God I love your lists.

"We had it all, (we had it aaaalll) just like Bogie and Bacall. Starring in our own late, late show - just sail away to Key Largo. Here's lookin at you kid..."

Now it's going to be STUCK in there all day on a loop! Thanks a lot April!

Don't forget "Escape" by Rupert Holmes - which, theoretically, could go in all 3 categories.

You rock!

Julie said...

Number one song I'm embarrassed to say I LOVE. "Blame it on the Rain" by none other than Milli Vanilli. However, "Bye Bye Bye" is a close second with "I Want It That Way" by the Backstreet Boys not trailing too far behind.

Oh, wait there is also "Penny and Me" by Hansen and "Burnin Up" by the Jonas Brothers. I guess I have a thing for boy bands. That makes me sad, doesn't it?

I totally agree with you on the Whitesnake thing, and the GNR. Love to hear that guitar riff on the beginning of "Sweet Child of Mine." NEVER get sick of it.

"Intentionally Katie" said...

Trying to "hear" all 60 of those songs in my head based on the title was tough, but I'm just impressed you could come up with 3 top 20 lists like that! I'd need to sit and make notes for days to come up with top 10 lists, let alone 20. As OUT of the music loop as I am these days, I kept up with most of your post. I am proud.

I still have most of my GnR CDs for some reason. I just couldn't bear selling them back when I had the chance. I think I'll go listen to a little "November Rain" right now...

chandy said...

As I was reading your list of songs you hate, I was just waiting to come across something I love.

Sure enough, there's Neil Diamond. Really? Really?

LA's fine, the sun shine's most the time, and the feeling's laid back...

There. Hopefully you'll have I Am I Said stuck in your head for awhile ;)

The Maid said...

I agree with you on Neil Diamond (sorry Chandy)...but anyone who sings about and to ET and writes lyrics like....
"Turn on your heart light..."
is a moron.

(I realize that I wish I had said moron's money, but at least I don't write stupid song lyrics.)

And Duran Duran defined me. In fifth grade.

Simon. Yummo.

But what do I know, I still like a little Garth Brooks. (Good times, good times.)

And yes...I agree with Kristin...why not add the Pina Colada song?

Karen R said...

WOOOOO-OOOOOOH, LIVIN' ON A PRAYER! Still sing it at the top of my lungs whenever I hear it.

WILLIAM said...

How can you not like Neil, Streisand I get, but Neil? People not likeing Neil is like people who put ketchup on hotdogs...wait aminute...yuo put ketchup on hotdogs don't you.

Jessie said...

I am so confused. How can you celebrate Christopher Cross's repertoire (Erik and I are big lovers of CC) and not like Streisand. I love Streisand. Well, Erik would agree with you. I'm the only Streisand lover in the family which, considering her awful political stand, presents me with a conundrum.

Also, really? Neil Diamond? Love him. I especially love his Christmas stuff. A Jew singing praises to the Messiah. Sweet, sweet irony.

DutchMac said...

I'm feeling very 'multiple personality' going through these lists. My tastes in music are so eclectic, I thrive on everything from Neil Diamond (sorry) to REM (sorry again) to Dave Matthews Band to GnR (woo hoo!) to Nine Inch Nails (when I'm in battle-the-world mode) to Tori Amos to Beautiful South to Melissa Etheridge (if I played for the other team, I soooo would with her!) to Hootie and the Blowfish (I know, seriously?) to James Taylor to the Broadway version of Tommy and the 1996 London cast of JCSuperstar to Pink to The Mamas and the Papas to Enya to Renaissance instrumentals to Billy Joel to .... oh help! I'm in a musical whirlwind right now.

You've given me some real food for musical thought at the moment. Darn you.

Bogart in P Towne said...

You so should have milked this for 3 seperate posts over three days...think of the tension and the anticipation you could have created.

Susssudio sucks...I totally agree...

aschmoel said...

I figured out my password so now I can actually comment on your blog...YEAH!!!!

Oh April, you are too funny! Please do not judge me too harshly for loving both Neil Diamond AND REM...I am a bit surprised they made your list. You know I pretty much love everything but most country (though you did have me singing "Hey Baby Let's Go to Vegas" at the top of my lungs) and your list of songs you are embarrasessed to admit you love, yea, they are all on my iPod...your creativity never ceases to amaze me!

I LOVE YOU said...