Oh no, you guys.
I am pretty sure I have developed an allergy to my MAC Lame Lipstick. And it's pronounced Luh-MAY, by the way. Let's not make jokes about the name at a time like this. This is serious.
So I think I am allergic. Because my lips are red and swollen and itchy and feel like they are on fire. Which is not really a bad look for me, except the itching and the feeling like they are on fire part. That pretty much sucks. But I have to be honest when I say I kind of like how the allergy has plumped them up and given them a little more depth to their natural pinkish color. Especially when I add the lipstick. Which is a pinkish/goldish/brownish and I just realized sounds completely hideous but is really awesome in person. Trust me.
And I know it is awesome because the guy behind the MAC counter at Nordstrom in Orange County, CA said so when he sold it to me. His name was kYle. Spelled just like that on his little MAC name badge. I don't think that was his real name. But his makeup was fabulous. kYle truly knew the secret to blending his shadow. He was an artiste. I am still in awe.
Anyhoots. I have been wearing this lipstick for nine years. NINE YEARS. And my lips just now decide they don't want to take it anymore? And do you know how difficult it is to find the perfect shade of neutral pinkish lipstick that does not make me look like an old lady on her way to her bowling league? I have dark hair, light eyes, fair skin and freckles people. The perfect shade of lipstick is so essential to a girl like me.
And this is the SECOND brand of lipsticks my body has rejected. Not to mention how certain perfumes smell like skunk and/or rotting beef as soon as they hit my skin. Or how Mango Mandarin lotion from Bath and Body makes me smell like an alcoholic on a three week bender.
What is going on with me? What is my body going to reject next? Egyptian cotton? Chocolate? Or (GASP) . . . Diet Coke with Vanilla???
Oh. My. God. If it gets to that, I do not want to go on. Someone please promise to put me out of my misery. I beg of you. Where, I ask you! Where is the quality in a life without Diet Coke with Vanilla??
I think I need a sedative. And also, medicated chapstick.