Monday, May 11, 2009

Safety First

So last week our Corporate HQ jumped on the pig flu bandwagon and sent supplies to help us protect ourselves. Although, between you, me and the scale, I could use a good bout of vomiting and diarrhea.

Ahem.

Anyhoo, the package contained antibacterial spray and wipes, latex gloves, hand sanitizer, and . . . safety goggles.

WTF?

In case someone spits in my eye? I am really not following their thought process with this one. Plus since I am not required to wear a lab coat or operate a table saw, the goggles so totally don't go with my outfits.

And the latex gloves? Well, I am not doing any body cavity searches (yet), so I think I'll pass on these, too.

I am however, thrilled to pieces over the kick ass hand sanitizer. I am pretty sure it's 85 percent acid, 10 percent alcohol and 5 percent artificial color and fragrance. The bad news is, if you use this product and have even the tiniest of paper cuts, it's gonna burn like a bitch. The good news? If you have a raging case of chlamydia, I am pretty sure I have your cure.

Give me a call.

6 comments:

DevilsHeaven said...

My hubby's work also set them up with a similar kit. And I thought the same thing, um, WHHHHHHHHHYYYY???

WILLIAM said...

I think you are supposed to put on the safety goggle why you are using the hand sanitizer just in case the acid splashes into your eye.

Mary said...

LMAO, April. So glad to hear that you'll be safe from the spitting masses.

Sue said...

Too fricken funny....girl, you crack me up.

brookem said...

oh man! god, it's JUST THE FLU!

Bogart in P Towne said...

Sounds more like a kinky love making kit to me...