Wednesday, May 27, 2009

Listen Here, Goldilocks

I have issues.

And I think there is enough evidence in the archives to your right to prove this, if for some reason you are new to the party and sitting there saying to yourself "What? Issues? April, what are you talking about? You seem like a lovely girl with an amazing personality bordering on perfection!"

Yes I know. I do give a fab first impression. But clearly, I have issues. Here's how I know:

Someone at work adjusted my chair.

Somebody, some person, sat in my chair and made some adjustment to suit themselves, to suit their height and body and comfort level and did not even stop to think that A) this was not their chair to be messing with in the first place, and B) they were only temporarily occupying that chair and should not be concerned with their own comfort level for a TEMPORARY situation, and C) it is NOT their chair!! Geez, People!!!

And the worst part is, I can't adjust the chair back to where it was! No matter how many times I change the height, move the back support, adjust the slant of the seat, it just doesn't feel riiiiiiiiiiigghhht!!! And it's making me super grumpy.

I even briefly toyed with the idea that maybe it was not my chair. Maybe some inconsiderate dirtbag person switched my chair with my neighbor (accidentally) and didn't realize it. But alas. That is not the case. It is my chair because it has the little green dot sticker on the bottom. That I totally did not put there. I swear it was already there when I got the stupid chair. But I am totally stealing this idea for all items in the future. Some kind of identifying mark so I will know if someone has pilfered my stapler. Or some other office supply. Ahem.

But messing with another person's chair is crossing the line in an office environment! I don't like change. I don't even like it when Ubes drives my car and moves the seat back and messes with the height of my steering wheel. And he knows this! Yet he keeps doing it because he thinks it's funny to watch me wig out over it.

But it's so not funny. And I am not amused. And I want to find the person who sat in my chair and I want to beat them to a bloody pulp.

So yeah. I have issues. I'm aware. Anger management may be one of them...


Caitlin said...

But April your chair was SO COMFYYYY. I couldn't help myself.

Kristi said...

I would sneak around and lower every single other person's chair so they would all have to be uncomfortable too. Team building!

Seriously, the only thing worse than that is someone using your computer and screwing with your desktop! Then the gloves come off baby!

Anonymous said...

Or how about when I get into my car after April has driven it (very rare occasion...ask her why)and the seat is so close to the wheel, I can see the final expression on the smashed bugs faces that are stuck to the windshield.
Thank God my car loves me, and remembers my favorite position at the tough of a button.
I wish April had that button...if you know what I mean. (evil grin)

April said...

Nice Babe. My mom reads this.

And how long are we going to punish me over that little incident with your car? It's not like I meant to hit the parking curb thingie. It's not my fault your car is so low to the ground. I mean sheesh!

Anonymous said...

My car is a 3-door car and everytime you push the chair forwards to let anyone out, the chair switches position. That's right, I make everyone slide across the back seat because I'M NOT WORKING THIS OUT AGAIN.

Hmmm. Whoever changed your chair should be punished with a chair you can't adjust.

Trisha said...

Changing a person's chair is just wrong! Don't these people understand how long it takes to get the settings just right? It is like changing the seat adjustments in the car. Frustrating!

Gladys said...

They used to do that in my office for sport. They would also take my stapler and hide it or put it in jello.

Evidently Gladys looks very funny when she has a kaniption fit.

Anonymous said...

lovely, do not feel bad.

i go apeshit when i drive and someone has adjusted the seat settings.

nevermind that it's my mother's lexus i'm driving, and not my car to begin with. THAT"S NOT THE POINT.

how DARE someone adjust MY seat settings?!

unacceptable. you are so justified.

Stacey said...

Ok. This is the important question. How did you even know that your chair has a gold dot sticker on the bottom? What were you doing, laying on the floor at work under your chair?? I mean, how else could you possibly have seen the gold dot sticker on the BOTTOM of your chair. My theory? You ended up on the floor under your chair because you were really on a bender and it had nothing to do with the lotion.