I woke up this morning feeling icky. My legs felt shaky and I was fighting the urge to puke as I brushed my teeth. No I am not pregnant. Just had a bit of a bug I think. And because I am so responsible, I could not call in sick to work. We have someone that calls in sick a lot and I think that person is a loser. I don't wanna be a loser, you know? So unless I am dying, I am NOT calling in sick.
So I dragged myself to work, looking like crap. My eyes were reddish and puffy, and I just didn't put in as much effort to poof my hair and make myself sparkle. I just didn't have it in me this morning. And I dreaded going in and being fake nice to people all day. Telling them to have a good day and stuff. When really I couldn't give a shit. I just wanted to lay down and die.
But I plugged on. I smiled. I good day'd. I faked a faint sparkle. I did the best I could. And by the early afternoon I was feeling better and no longer wanted to curl up into the fetal position on the disgusting bathroom floor and allow God to take me home.
I had ginger ale and toast for dinner. And I didn't gag when I took some tylenol. My legs were still a little shaky and my glands felt sore. But I started to think I just might make it.
And then I went to put my baby Boo to bed. And she informed me she didn't want me to put her in bed. So I told her Daddy was in the shower and he couldn't put her to bed, she was stuck with me.
And that's when she ripped the floor right out from underneath me.
"I want to put myself to bed."
So now I am back to thinking about how comforting it is to curl up in the fetal position on the floor. And I am wishing like crazy I had just called in sick today and spent the day laying in my bed watching movies with my little Boo. Who wants to put herself to bed.
And now I don't know if my stomach is upset because I have a little bit of the flu, or because I have taken all those nights tucking her in for granted. And I'll never get them back.
But I'll plug on. I'll smile. I'll say good night. I'll fake a faint sparkle. I'll do the best I can. And in a few years when she is ready to go to college, I'll feel better. And I won't want to lay down on her bedroom floor in the fetal position and pray for her to come home. Because I'll be ready.
And I know I will make it.