Oh. My. GAWD. People.
You would not believe the day I have had. And really, now that I am home and in my jammies and warm and safe and maybe quite possibly enjoying a refreshing adult beverage, in retrospect I can see that it wasn't that bad. But just enough to furrow the eyebrows causing a severe headache that makes everything that much worse. Are you following me??
So I drop the boys off at school this morning, and then proceed to take Boo to preschool. I made a pit stop at the gas station, where just as I pull in, an indicator light shows up on the dash accompanied by a very annoying dinging sound. What the freak?? "Check right rear tire pressure."
I get out of the car and immediately hear a very ominous shoooooooooooshing noise. Louder than hiss, more quiet than a woosh. My tire was going flat right before my eyes. And ears. I inspect it, trying to figure out where the air is escaping, and then I see it. A broken razor blade sticking out of the tread on my BRAND NEW FREAKING TIRE.
Oh crap... What do I do?? Do I put more air in and throw up a hail Mary that I can make it to Discount tire??? Which is not anywhere near my present location. I call Uberman.
"My tire is leaking. There's a razor blade. It's losing air! Here, can you hear it??? (hold phone to tire) What do I do what do I do what do I do????"
"Baby, you have to change the tire."
"I don't know how to change a tire!!!!!!! I'm a GIRL!!!" I know. And I call myself a feminist. Look. Don't judge me. I have lived this long without ever having to know how to do this. I have Uberman and he is awesome. Why cloud the mind with useless information. I have more important things to know. Like who is nominated for an Oscar and what Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck named their new baby.
Anyhoots, Uberman was at work. Couldn't leave. I was screwed.
"What do I do??" I ask, arms flailing.
"Let me call my dad, see if he can come get you."
And then I see a man walking toward me. "Ma'am? Do you need help? You okay?"
"Uuuuummmm...." I am weighing my options. What if he's a serial killer? Or a child molester?? Or a mugger?? Or something really bad, like a chubby chaser?? But what if he can change a tire??? Hmmmmmm....
"I am having a tire . . . situation..... It's going flat." I look at the tire. "It is flat."
"I can change your tire, I don't mind."
"Really??" I ask him. And then my guard goes back up. "Why?"
He laughed. "You look like you need some help."
I agreed to let the kind, non-murderous (so far) stranger change my tire. Except..... No jack. Yup. There was no jack in my car. Apparently it didn't come with one?? It was forgotten?? GMC just didn't give a crap about a mother of three children cruising the dangerous streets of Phoenix with NO JACK IN HER CAR?? What the H people???
So the non-murderer couldn't help me after all. I called my sister in law in hopes she was on her way to the preschool with my nephew and could swing by and pick up Boo. No dice. Her sister took my nephew and her own son this morning.
"Where are you?" she asked. And that's where the morning overwhelmed me. I started crying. Like a big baby. A big, tire changing challenged, quasi feminist, failure as a woman, BABY. I blubbered on and on about my bad morning, and Boo being late for school and me being late for work and the kindness of a total stranger (which turned into six strangers when a pack of his construction worker friends showed up, one of them with a jack but lacking that other useful bar/stick thingie that actually lowers the tire from its designated spot under the truck).
"Don't move. I'll be there in 10 minutes." And she hung up. As soon as she hung up, Ubes called. "I called JR (our awesome mechanic friend), he is sending someone to change the tire, then they will take the truck to him to see if they can fix the tire or if we have to get a new one."
More tears. Happy tears, thankful tears and frustrated tears all mixed together. The last thing I need is to spend money on another new tire.
She She showed up to get me. Within a minute, the designated tire changer showed up with his red cape and smiled awkwardly as I burst into tears again. Yeah, I know. And it's not even near my time of the month or anything. I was just a huge basket case today.
First, She She took Boo to school. Then me to work (stopping in between to get me my much needed diet coke with vanilla). I was only 15 minutes late. No problem.
Until lunch time. I have been bringing my lunch this week (I made a delicious quiche and have been enjoying the leftovers for lunch), only in my rush to get out the door, I totes forgot.
"Oh Em Gee," I complain to my co-worker The Boy. "I have no car!"
"I'll go get you something," he says.
"Okay!" I exclaim happily. Until I realize . . . "I have NO money!!" I am the mother of three. I never have any cash because someone always needs it for a field trip or a school function or for a treat from the snack bar at school.
He laughed. "I'll spot you. I know where to find you."
So basically what I am telling you is if it were not for the kindness of 6 total strangers and my close friends and family, I would not have made it through the day. I would not be sitting here with a newly patched tire (woo hoo for not having to buy a new tire!!), warm jammies, a delicious adult beverage (which is almost gone, I'll be honest), and a new blog topic.
Oh. My. Gawd. People. I just reread this whole post before publishing. I can't believe you read this crap. Aren't you so glad you stopped by today??
Basket case, party of one please.