Thursday, January 8, 2009

Open Mouth, Insert Foot. Lather Rinse Repeat.

From the window at my desk I can see the car sitting in the drive thru lane. I hear the swooshing sound of the tube running through the chute and the kerplunk as it lands in the box above the counter.

I approach the window and press the button turning the microphone on. "Hello Mr. Customer, how are you today?"

"Fine." He stares straight ahead, not bothering to glance at the insignificant person handling his money. He's old. Grumpy. Doesn't have time for small talk, just wants to make his deposit and get back to his barcolounger in time for this afternoon's Columbo rerun.

"I'm just going to step away a moment to take care of this for you and be right back with your receipt."

No response.

I notice a white puff of curly hair leaning forward in the passenger seat, the furry little face attached is partially obscured from my view due to pipes leading from the drive thru receptacle into the building. I press the microphone button again.

"Sir, would your dog like a treat?"

His head jerks to the left to face me through the bullet proof glass.

"Excuse me?" he asks, his brow furrowed with confusion.

The puff of curly white hair leans back in the passenger seat. The not so furry face turns to glare at me. I immediately realize my mistake as I smile back at his wife. I swallow the mixture of humiliation and laughter overwhelming me.

"I said, I'll be right back with your receipt."

Welcome to my world. Touching people's lives one embarrassing moment at a time.

17 comments:

Gladys said...

Bwhaaahaaahaaaaaaa! Ok I'm not laughing at you...wait yes I am!

That is filarious!

I was behind a man in a pickup with a woman with gorgeous red hair. It was long and wavey. She was pretty petite and would sit up really high in the seat ever once in a while. Then I pulled up next to them at the red light and realized it was an Irish Setter. Imagine being envious of dog hair!

Trisha said...

Too funny!

Sue said...

Oh April that is great! It goes right along with the perverbial "When is your due date" asked to a non-pregnant woman. I'm guilty of that one. But only once. Unless a woman is standing in front of me, doing her Lamaze breathing I won't ask...

Anyway, it sounds like Mrs. Curly Q could have easily been mistaken for poodle. No harm done...and you probably gave them something to talk about.

for a different kind of girl said...

I can do nothing but laugh! That's hilarious!

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

Only you. This stuff only happens to you. That's what you get for being kind...if you would just muddle through life, like the rest of us, you wouldn't get yourself into these predicaments!!!

kristen s said...

OMG, I'm crying. Oh April, you just made me laugh so loud I scared my dog... who really IS a dog, and would very much like a treat :)

DutchMac said...

FANTASTIC! And nice recovery, too, by the way.

This is the type of thing that will come back to haunt you in oh-so-many venues .... anniversary parties, company Christmas parties, childrens' weddings. Really, you're just investing in your future humor. Keep it up, cause you know, the more you deposit, the more you get profit. :-)

Karen R said...

OMG, April. I haven't laughed that hard in years. I had to keep wiping my eyes so that I could finish the story. This is priceless. I vote you Employee of the Decade for that! I would have had to have someone else finish the transaction because I would have been on the floor laughing.

Bonnie said...

PIMP funny!!! Thanks for sharing and making my afternoon a lille bit better.

KT said...

lmao. you're a freaking riot.

Wonelle said...

Brilliant! You always make me chuckle. Thanks for that!

The Maid said...

Funny, before you even gave us the punchline...I knew it.

Was she on the old man's lap or what? Cuz that could be a whole 'nuther blog! Wink.

By the way, just because I am leaving a comment...doesn't mean I'm not as busy as you. LOL

HeathahLee said...

Oh my GOSH that was hilarious! I'm here from Katie @ Three Blondes and a Redhead, and I'm so glad I dropped in! I was a teller for years, so I can TOTALLY relate! : )

Sue said...

By the way April, stop by my blog when you have a sec. I've given you one of those silly little awards. (And it's NOT a foot in mouth award...)

Practically Joe said...

This old man, he played nine
He played knick-knack in my line
With a knick-knack paddywhack, give a dog a bone
This old man came ... Oops! Sorry!

WILLIAM said...

Was she leaning forward or leaning over him? Hmmm

DevilsHeaven said...

OMG!!!!!! LMAO!!!!!!