Wednesday, January 14, 2009

Not Rocket Science

There are times when I think I am on a hidden camera show. I have shared many experiences with you that are unbelievable, yet absolutely true. Do you honestly think if I had the ability to make this crap up, I would be sharing it with you for free? Take this little beauty for example.

Today I stopped at Sonic for my morning dose of heroin Diet Coke with Vanilla. Thirty two ounces for 99 cents people! You can't beat that with a stick. Anyhoots, I actually had the following conversation via loudspeaker attached to the menu:

Sonic Girl: Hi, Welcome to Sonic, how can I help you?
Me: Can I get a large Diet Coke with vanilla, please?
She: I'm sorry, can you repeat that?
Me: A large diet coke with vanilla, please.
She: Cheese on what?
Me: What?
She: What did you want with cheese?
Me: No cheese. Just a Diet Coke with vanilla, please.
She: What did you want with your vanilla?
Me: Uuuummm . . . Diet Coke?
She: Yeah, I got that. Did you say you also wanted a vanilla freeze? Because I don't know what that is. We don't have that.
Me: Uuuuhhhh.... No, I said a large diet coke with vanilla PLEASE.
She: Vanilla what?
Me: Vanilla nothing. I am saying 'please.' PLEASE? P-L-E-A-S-E.
She: Oh, I'm sorry. Okay so that's a large diet coke with a vanilla ice cream. Your total is . . .
Me: What?? No, no, no. I want a large diet coke with a splash of vanilla flavor in it. In the diet coke. Not ice cream.
She: Did you want fries or tots?
Me: Neither. I only want the drink.
She: So you don't want the vanilla?
Me: Dude, are you kidding me?
She: Ma'am?
Me: Are you new? Where's Sally*?
She: Oh she's off today.
Me: Is there someone else there who speaks beverage?
She: What?
Me: Look. All I want is a large Diet Coke with vanilla. If the vanilla is too much for you, I'll just take the Diet Coke.
She: Okay. Would you like to try any mozzarella sticks or cheddar peppers with that?
Me: It's 8:00 in the morning.
She: (Silence)
Me: Just the drink please.
She: Okay, so that's one large Coke. Your total is $1.08.
Me: (Staring at the speaker in utter disbelief) Boo, she still didn't get it!
Boo: You should have gone to the gas station like Grandpa does. He gets his own drink.
Me: Grandpa is smart.
Boo: That girl isn't.

And with that my friends, I drove away. I took my daughter's advice and went to QT. Where I got my own drink. With vanilla even.

It was gross. And my whole day sucked because of it.

So tomorrow, I am going to ask Sally* about her schedule, and then go to an alternate Sonic on her day off.

OMG. Maybe the dumb girl isn't really my problem??

*Not her real name.


DutchMac said...

I think you should ask (bribe) Sally to take pictures of herself preparing your morning meds, step by step. Have them posted throughout Sonic, at all relevant stations (better yet, as their own chapter in the Employee Handbook). That way, you can tell Brainless Barbie to simply do what the damn pictures show.

~Chris~ said...

Dear Gawd....that is a horrible way to start the day!

WILLIAM said...

I think you should have just ordered a diet coke with Cheese and see what the girl gave you.

chandy said...

Did I just read that correctly? Did you just say QT was gross?!?!? Dude, they have the best diet coke EVER! And have you tried their donuts? And their employees are so friendly, I believe that they really do like me and actually are looking forward to seeing me next time. I can't quit you, QT!

Trisha said...

Not a nice way to start the day but excellent blog fodder! Too funny! I hope today is better!

Sandra in Phx said...

These things happen JUST so you have something to entertain the masses with:)

Heather said...

I'm SO sorry... hehe

I'd feel really bad for you if that type of crap didn't happen to us EVERY. TIME. WE. GO. OUT. No matter where we go...
I think there must be a big neon sign hanging over us that only the wait staff can see.

Sue said...

Do you remember the line from the old Mel Gibson, Danny Glover movie, Lethal Weapon?

"You get F**k'd in the drive thru"

Aint that the truth!

Anonymous said...

DANG! I have been having problems with you showing up in my reader, and look, just LOOK what I am missing out on!
I can't stop laughing.
Also, I want to meet Boo say I can high-five her, because gah-dayum is she a riot!

Also: Reason #1298275 it's not fair that I have never been to a Sonic.

DevilsHeaven said...

Oh, you have NO IDEA how much I missed you while in the Homeland!!!!
You crack me up!

Leigh7880 said...

Oh man, I'm sitting alone with headphones in Starbucks and everyone now thinks I'm nuts as my trying-not-to-laugh-outloud-but-not-quite-pulling-it-off-weird-jumbled-sound comes out of my mouth. That is AWESOME! My best Sonic story is ordering a large diet vanilla Coke and getting all the way home before I notice the following message scribbled on the cup in large black letters, "Do Not Use!" Um, excuse me? What? Do not use WHY? Is this cup laced in poison? So I race back to the Sonic in a huff, tell the girl my situation and she LAUGHS and says, "it's just the last cup! We aren't supposed to use it! Hee hee hee!" I was not amused.

Oh, and Stacey (who has your blog on her blog list) and I tried many times to break their "would you like cheese sticks with that" policy. We would tell them our order and then say things like, "That completes my order," and "That's all I want today," or "I ONLY want two diet cokes please" and they would STILL ask us if we wanted cheese sticks. Good times!