Now I won't go into full Roger Ebert mode here and review the movie. We'll just say it's two hours of my life I'm never getting back and leave it at that. Mmmkay?
So just for fun, I thought I would sum up what I did like about it. Ready? Here we go....
- I would be lying if I told you I wasn't insanely jealous of Edward's ability to sparkle in the sunlight. I so need that ability! I was meant to SPARKLE!!
- At one very serious point in the movie, Edward is trying to explain to Bella how dangerous he is. And he says the line "I am the most dangerous predator in the world." Or something like that. And Uberman turned to me and said "Somebody better call Chris Hansen." I laughed out loud. And got shushed by a 13 year old girl.
- I thoroughly enjoyed the previews before the movie.
- My popcorn was fresh and delicious and not too salty. And free.
- There were enough teenage girls sitting around us for me to use the term "gaggle of gigglers." It was awesome. How often can that phrase come up in everyday conversation? So far in my life, never.
- Although I think the guy who plays Edward is a pretty terrible actor (Save your hate mail, this is strictly my opinion.), I think he did look like what I had pictured Edward to look like. I can see how he's kind of dreamy but I think his nose is too flat. And I am absolutely sure some teenage girl is Googling hit men because I said that.
And there you have it. I realize I have an unpopular opinion of the film, which is not even worthy of being called a film, definitely more of a flick, but hey, it's my blog baby. So suck it. Get it?? Suck it?? Vampire movie?? Oh man I crack myself up.