Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Forgiveness. It's more than saying sorry.

Let's talk about Facebook for a little while, shall we? Am I beating a dead horse with this?? What does that saying mean, anyway?? Does anyone know??

So this week I told you about reconnecting with old friends, remember? Many of you may find this difficult to believe, considering I am so awesome and all, but there was a girl in high school that I was very mean to. And when I say mean, I mean horrific. On a Lindsay Lohan level. I never caused her physical harm, but I humiliated this girl on a daily basis. I mention her in my 101 things. She's number 42.

Here's the back story. I was an editor on my school newspaper. This girl was the editor in chief. Okay so maybe I envied her position and resented her power, I don't know. She was a little on the Andrea Zuckerman side. Anyhoots, I guess I felt it was my duty to knock her down a few notches. Every day. One of the guys on the newspaper staff actually wrote the following passage in my yearbook:

"... Newspaper has been fun, especially listening to you and [girl] fight! The most classic, hilarious thing just happened. Everyone was saying how [Mr. Vice Principal] didn't like anyone and [girl] said that he liked her. Then you said 'Well he's the only person who does.' That was awesome, I thought I would write that down so you could remember that forever."

So guess what.... Years later, I still remember that moment. And now that I am a grown up, and I realize you stop being part of the cool crowd the moment you graduate, I feel terrible about the way I treated this girl. I am ashamed of myself. I went to my ten year reunion so many years ago, hoping she would be there so I could apologize to her in person. I was very disappointed she wasn't there. But she probably didn't come because of me. So this week, I was able to tell her how deeply sorry I am for being so awful to her. And she graciously accepted my apologies, and even more graciously told me there was nothing to forgive. It was all water under the bridge.

Regardless, I still feel better knowing I apologized, and that she forgave.

Facebook. Bringing people together. One clique at a time.


Caitlin said...

Sigh. I love you. It takes a lot to forgive so graciously, and it also takes a lot to fully admit and accept responsibility for your actions.

It means that you are NOT that person you were in Hike Skool. That you grew up like a Big Girl, like everyone is supposed to, but so few actually do.

Kudos to both of you.

Kristi said...

I think everybody has amends to make from High School - you should be proud of yourself that you acknowledged to her that you know you were wrong (my gosh, did that sentence even make any damn sense?!)

My word verification is "uptighty" - lol

for a different kind of girl said...

These were both big steps the two of you took. I can imagine that, even though she said there was nothing to forgive, knowing you felt badly and wanted to apologize probably meant a huge deal to her. I know it would to me if soemthing like that happened to me.

Ah, Facebook. It's more than just flair!

Becky said...

What I would give to go back to high school (for one day) as a grown up with a sense of perspective...and to treat everyone with love and respect and dignity. The way it should have been the first time around!

I was a mean girl as much as I was on the receiving end of I would love an apology from some and love to give one to others!

Now can I just say how glad I am that I will NEVER have to go back to highschool again? LOL

I think that I was mean to people not because I thought I was so great, but because deep down I was so insecure.

So glad I outgrew that. (Uh hem, that was sarcasm, in case you missed it! LOL)

Love you Queen,
The Maid

Bogart in P Towne said...

I still can't figure out if I am disgusted by or happily enjoy facebook...I have 100+ friends. I think I have seen 8 of them in the last 3 years.

DevilsHeaven said...

Ok, I apparently have not grown as much as you all since high school, because I just joined Facebook like 2 weeks ago and the SAME girl that annoyed the hell out of me in H.S. because of her neediness is annoying the hell out of me via Facebook. I thought I was being a better person by accepting her friends request, but now, I'm stabbing myself in the eye, AGAIN, because of her and her neediness.

kristen s said...

You're good people, April. The girl that made life hell for me in elementary school was at my 20 year HS reunion, and she didn't even aknowledge my presence. What a hag. I was really hoping she would have gained 300 lbs and developed open sores all over her face and body, but no luck. She's still ugly on the inside, though, and there's no fixing that.

As for FB, you KNOW you got me hooked like a sleazy crack whore. I've let all my responsibilites slide to feed my addiction. Although, I can see the negative side like Devils Heaven was saying. As I told you, I too have let someone in as a "friend" who I barely remembered at first, but has turned into a creepy stalker person who wants me to tell him where I live and make a lunch date. AAAAAAHHHH! That Facebook is a double edged sword, I tell you.