Monday, November 17, 2008

The Dentist

In my job I deal with the public. Which means I often have customers who I know outside of work in one way or another. Neighbors, friends, crazy former clients, etc. Well today I happened to assist my dentist.

He's a nice guy. And a really good dentist. And you know how hard it is to find one of those. But there's just one problem. I hate assisting him in a professional environment. The whole time I am talking to him I am wondering if he is judging me. I wonder if he's looking at my teeth and trying to remember the last time I came in for a cleaning.

It's just so personal, you know? I mean he is fully aware of my oral hygiene. The man has seen me, lying in his chair, my mouth wide open, totally vulnerable and exposed. That bright light shining above, illuminating every pore, wrinkle and stray whisker. Oh shut up, like you don't have them too. Last time I had my teeth cleaned I asked if I could hand him my tweezers, maybe kill two birds with one stone. He chuckled, I chuckled. We shared a moment.

So today, after he left my office, I mentioned my concerns to my coworker, T. She just glared at me.

Me: What? I swear he was looking at my teeth! Do you think I am making this up? I think he knows I have been slacking on the flossing lately.
T: Did you see that guy who just left?
Me: That client you were helping?
T: Yes.
Me: Yeah, so what?
T: That was my OBGYN.
Me: Okay, you win.


Sara Jane said...

She wins hands down!

This had me laughing out loud.

Becky said...

Bummer...she stole my line.

I was seriously going to say that I would rather it be my dentist than my OBGYN because no doubt he would be thinking..."I wonder if she ever got that PAP that she was due for?"


We are a sick group of people!

The Maid

Kristi said...

Dentists are thinking about themselves WAY too much to be wondering about you. He was probably wondering if you thought he was a jackass! lol

Caitlin said...


DutchMac said...

I feel your pain on this one! I injured a tendon/ligament in my hip a couple years ago and had to go see a physical therapist. He was older and grandfatherly, but happened to have a young, hot student with him for the first appt/consultation. As they were discussing and workshopping figuring out the nature of my injury (speaking to each other in their native Dutch), one of the less dignified positions I had to adopt was legs together, bend over and touch the floor, arse up in the air .... and I was only in my t-shirt and underwear.

Now let me explain what happens when you live in a country where you don't speak the language. Every day, in every place you go outside your house, you ignore the outside world. You don't understand the conversations you overhear in the mall, you don't recognize when market researchers are trying to get your attention, you don't understand the announcements on the PA system in the grocery store. So you tune them out and think about more mundane things (grocery lists, what movie was on TV that night, oh crap did I remember to turn off the garden hose before I left?, etc) which is exactly what I was doing while holding a great Playboy pose.

It was then that I realized they had said, very loudly, and THREE TIMES 'Ahem, ma'am? You can stand up now.'

Bugger the hip injury, please let the floor open up and swallow me whole. Now.

DevilsHeaven said...

Oh yeah, she TOTALLY won that one! LOL

Trisha said...

That would be a bit . . .awkward, wouldn't it?

Accidental housewife said...

Yeah, I would rather talk to my dentist. :) I mean I have a hard time seeing only other man in my life besides Kahuna who is allowed to play with my boobs and check out the whowho anywhere besides in the exam room.

Chris H said...

Hee hee he. Very funny.

Bogart in P Towne said...

Winner...Winner...Chicken Dinner.

I am thankful I am a man...I just need to turn my head and cough...I could not imagine someone pulling out a spatula...wait, sorry, it is a family blog, I know.

Dentist in Los Angeles said...

This is really innovative! How interesting! For a good dentist.