Thursday, November 13, 2008

Confessions

Things I would admit if I didn't think you would judge me...

I think David Letterman is sexy.

I watch The Family Guy. And I like it.

I don't enjoy American Idol.

I hate Karaoke.

I freaking love Journey.

I lied about my weight on my drivers license.

I cheated in college algebra.

I have nightmares about Jello. Just thinking about it gives me the heebie jeebies.

I don't think Beyonce is talented. At all. I think she sucks. And it pissed me off when I saw her on the cover of this month's In Style magazine.

I voted no on 102. (Save your comments and emails, it's over. You won.)

I don't like Cold Play.

I've flirted with a baseball player to get an autograph for my husband.

I despise girls who flirt to get what they want.

I've made myself throw up due to fear of gaining weight.

I've judged someone before I allowed myself to get to know them.

I drove my mother's brand new truck into the wall of our garage and then pretended I had no idea there was a hole in the wall or how it got there.

I lied about it being my birthday in order to sell the most amount of strawberry pies in the month of April when I was a waitress.

I also dropped a bottle of sanitizer in a new pot of cream of broccoli soup and didn't tell anyone.

And I dropped the restaurant manager's toast on the floor and didn't tell him either.

I fell down a flight of stairs in the sanctuary of our church, during a service, scattering the contents of my purse across five rows of people.

I laughed out loud when my friend's husband told the people sitting near us I had been drinking all morning.

I sat red faced and giggling as the rows in front of us passed my purse items back to me. These items might have included products of the feminine nature. That might have landed in the lap of an older gentleman.

I left the service a little early once all my items had been retrieved and used the excuse that I had a previous engagement.

I cried like a baby when Bobby died on Dallas.

I accidently poured my son's fish in the sink when I was cleaning the fish bowl. And instead of trying to scoop him up (shudder), I let him fall into the disposal. And then turned it on.

I am very competetive. So much so that it irritates me when my kids beat me at Mario Kart. And then I don't want to play anymore.

I just figured out this year that Flash Gordon and The Flash are not the same person.

I am thoroughly enjoying posting every day.


15 comments:

Trisha said...

I must confess that I like reading your posts every day!

This one is just priceless!

for a different kind of girl said...

I once dreamed of marrying Steve Perry. If there was ever a Journey night on American Idol, I swear to you that would be the ONLY time I'd ever watch that show!

Stacey said...

Journey....Steve Perry....ahhh. I had a manic crush on that big-nosed sexy man.

Chris H said...

Some interesting confessions there! I love posting every day too.

DevilsHeaven said...

I'm totally with you on the jello and american idol and the weight thing, and I think Beyonce's thighs are too big for some of the outfits she wears.

Thunderfoot said...

Why am I suddenly craving some Big Boy food?
Letterman is aging very nicly indeed.

Thunderfoot said...

nicely...ugh.

Accidental housewife said...

If I started confessing well let's just say we would be in need of several priest and a stenographer. :)

I do confess I was laughing so hard I snorted tea up my nose about you falling down the stairs

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

I love that you're posting every day too! Isn't it fun?

But the thought of you turning the garbage disposal on a live fish is beyond disgusting.

Oh, and remind me not to sit near you at church. Dude - you're embarrassing!

kristen s said...

April, you and I are so similar, it's frightening.

Except, I don't get drunk, go to church, and share my feminine hygiene products with the congregation... that's just ill advised.

sjane said...

If you click the link below you'll find my new site! I'm loving your blog. I'm so excited to have found you.

PS- Letterman is so sexy!

Kristi said...

What do you mean Flash Gordon and The Flash are not the same person?! head. exploding.

Caitlin said...

Lonve it.
Ad love you.

PS - My ver. word is "catti". Almost like it KNEW who I was! Except, FAIL.

Coffee Bean said...

I AM LAUGHING SO HARD I FEEL LIKE I AM GOING TO PASS OUT!!! And my sides hurt!!! Oh my LORD!!!

You are such a FREAK! I love it! And... it's frightening how many similar things I have done... and how many ideas you've just given me... Now, if I could just get Paco stuffed down into the garbage disposal...

WILLIAM said...

Why would you claim you were heavier on your driver License?,...I don't get it.