Thursday, November 20, 2008

Baby Talk

Yesterday I held a brand new baby. Eight days old. The Maid's baby. He is beautiful. And y'all know I don't say it unless I mean it. He has all this dark hair, and this beautiful round face and big, blue eyes. My uterus ached a little.

Until I realized the following sentences have come out of my mouth in the last 24 hours:

  • Stop farting on your brother.
  • Don't tell your sister Jello is made of crushed up cow hooves.
  • No you can not get a tattoo.
  • Stop telling your sister you're going to fart in her bed.
  • No you can't have a pet snake. What is the matter with you?
  • No we are not getting a Turducken for Thanksgiving dinner, I don't care how much fun it is to say the word.
  • I'm sorry you are the last two kids on the planet without a cell phone. Get a job and buy your own.
  • No you can not ask Santa for a jacuzzi.
  • I have no idea why Daddy giggles every time someone says the number 69.
So yeah, I think I've got my hands pretty full here. I'll just enjoy holding other people's babies, and then hand them back to their moms when they start to talk.

11 comments:

Caitlin said...

Riiiight, right. Dually noted. Will refrain from the baby having, commence with the baby holding.

Kristi said...

New babies are God's way of making us forget all the other stuff that happens AFTER they stop being babies!

Also, I am SOOO asking Santa for a jacuzzi! You just meant the kids, right? RIGHT?????!!!

Mom Taxi Julie said...

Ok I seriously laughed at the last one!

Chris H said...

Oh I just adore infants! I could have them forever and just give them back when they start crawling! I have had 8, you'd think I would know better eh?

for a different kind of girl said...

Children really are nature's birth control, aren't they? :)

DevilsHeaven said...

Wait, jello isn't made of cow hooves??? Dang my older brother!!!

notyourplainjane said...

Kids are so funny. I love the last statement.

Trisha said...

Too funny! Isn't it funny to think about what we say? Sometimes the weirdest things just slip out and when you think back . . . it is hysterical!

Gladys said...

That my dear is why I LOVE being a Grandma and not a Ma. I love being able to say "Um, dear I believe that Miss Priss has a bad case of Poopie Pie for you" Then hand her off and walk off. :)

WILLIAM said...

Just how often is the #69 discussed in your household?

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

I think laughed out loud at every one of those bullets. The last 24 hours? Really? You should have a reality show like The Osbournes did.

I'd watch it...seriously.