Friday, October 24, 2008


I have some sad news. Today I suffered the tragic loss of a very close and personal friend. A friend who has been there for me, through good times and bad. A friend who always supported me. A friend who never let me down.
It is with great regret that I inform you, Black Beauty, my most favorite bra of nine years, has been laid to rest. As you can imagine, I am beyond devastated.
We have been through so much together, Black Beauty and I. I bought her as a gift for myself after I had successfully weaned my firstborn. She was just what my lingerie drawer needed after one year of being ruled by ugly, boring nursing bras. She saw me through two additional pregnancies, three weddings, five graduations, three baptisms, four job interviews. Countless client dinners, holiday parties and various celebrations. She was my go to girl when I needed a specific look. She was quite simply, a miracle worker.
And in the past few years, I have relied on her a little too much. I counted on her to help me feel sexy when I otherwise would not. In hindsight, I realize I may have expected her to carry more of a . . . um . . . burden, than she was capable of. I may have pushed her beyond her limits.
But I didn't know! I didn't know she was in pain. She never complained, never gave me any clue that she was tired and needed rest. Never once asked to be taken out of the rotation. She was the Cal Ripken of lingerie.
And now, she is gone. I put her in the washer with the delicates, but unfortunately, she just didn't make it. The rinse cycle must have been too much. I couldn't bare to put her in the trash. I am thinking about burning her on the barbecue grill, at least I may be able to save her ashes. I could wear them in a locket around my neck, close to my heart where she belongs.
I'm sorry, I am just too distraught to write any more. Your thoughts and prayers are appreciated at this difficult time.

Rest in Peace, Black Beauty, you will be missed.


for a different kind of girl said...

I know how devastating a loss like this can be. You have my deepest sympathies.

RIP Black Beauty. Godspeed.

Kristi said...

9 YEARS!?!? You are my bra hero Black Beauty!

Bury her out back and plant a lovely tree in remembrance.

Coffee Bean said...

Oh my Lord, you are a total NUT!!! AND how the heck did you get a bra to last 9 years! That is amazing!

Chris H said...

My SINCERE condolences mate! Rest in peace Black Beauty... long may the memories last. WEll, until the tart goes and buys your replacement that is!

Becky said...

They never speak up do they? Just keep on ticking until one day, in the midst of the most embarrassing possible moment they pop an underwire...and you suffer for the rest of the day until you can call in some backup!

I don't know what is sadder, by the way, the fact that we are morning your bra, or the fact that you referred to your bra as the Cal Ripken of lingerie.

Hmmm...the hubs has worn off on you in more ways than we will ever know! :0)

(Being married to a drummer...that would equal the day I refer to my underwear as the Neil Pert, Buddy Rich, or Vinnie Cailuto of panties!)

You crack me up!

The Maid

Trisha said...

Is it weird that I understand how upset you are? About a piece of lingerie?

I think all women get attached to their undergarments. Scarily so.

Thanks for the shot of humor today! I was dragging a bit and this gave me a burst of laughing energy!

Accidental housewife said...

Oh how sad. I really hate to hear that? Should donations be made to Miracle Bra or Victoria Secret?

kristen s said...

Oh April, I am so sorry for your loss. I know at times like this, words seem insufficient, but you need to remember that Black Beauty accomplished a lot in her 9 years of life.

In addition to her years spent endlessly supporting your girls, she recently helped hook you an elderly fella at work using her perky magic. I just know, in her final days, she had to hold back tears of pride when you were found in blogland by a google search of "Hot MILF Bloggers". Black Beauty's work here on earth, my friend, was done.

I'm certain that she knew how much you loved her by how often she was used in your bra rotation. Please know that I'll keep you in my prayers during this difficult time. Stay strong.


DutchMac said...

It's a sad, sad, sad day in the world of Beautiful Bosoms when things like this happen. I know there are no words of wisdom that can remove your pain, but take comfort in the knowledge you have the support of breasts from beyond the pond helping you through these difficult times.

Stacey said...

Oh gosh, how did it happen? Did the underwire poke through? Did one of the clasps break away from the strap? Or was it worse?? I just hope and pray that she didn't suffer...