In case you haven't guessed, I struggle with a bit of a potty mouth. I know, it's terrible. Especially because I am a mother and I am supposed to be a Christian and a role model to my kids blah blah blah. Don't judge me, okay? Some people smoke, some people drink, some people are wearing stockings with open toe shoes. We all have our faults. It's not like I am walking around here dropping F bombs all the time. I at least wait until the kids are out of earshot for that.
Oh, relax. I am totally kidding. Or am I? Shut up, Raia.
It was bad enough when my oldest, Junior, was a little over a year old and he would drop something and say "Oh chicks." So guess what? I started to spell it. And then I had Mac. Who would drop a toy or a fish cracker and say "Oh ess aych eye tee." And my mother in law did not think it was so funny when I would go "Listen to that! He's a genius!"
And so I worked really hard and tried my best not to swear in front of the kids. I tried substituting, like saying "Oh pickles!" Or "Oh shaving cream!" But occasionally, a swear word would slip out. Or I would still spell it. And then Junior started saying "You know mom, we can spell. We know what you're saying."
But it was Mac who really put me in my place. The other day we were driving somewhere, in a hurry as usual. I could not get over into the lane I needed in order to turn. I missed the turn and before I even thought about it, a minor expletive flew out of my mouth. The car got very quiet. And then I hear Mac from the back seat:
"Mom, it really hurts baby Jesus' heart when you talk like that."
Nothing like your eight your old making you feel like a heathen, eh?
So I am going to do it. I am committed to this. I'm going to stop swearing. Really, I am. Okay, stop laughing. I am. Just you wait and see. Jerks.
I said I was going to stop swearing. Not stop calling names. One thing at a time people. Baby steps. Sheesh.