Do you ever play the game High Low? You know, where you name the part of your day that was a high (hence the "High") and the part of your day that was the low (hence the "Low")? Well if you do, cool. If not, that's cool too. Because we are going to play right now. Except instead of High-Low for the day, I am going to play High-Low for right now. And because I like to end things on a positive note, we are going to start with the low. I guess that changes the game to Low-High? Whatever.
As of right now, this moment, these are April's Lows:
Boo's preschool teacher - Not a fan. I have been giving it time. Trying to get to know her. Trying to relate to her. Trying to understand her style. And she's just not doing it for me. Am I going to do anything about it? Probably not. Boo likes her and is very happy at school, so I guess that's all that matters. But I am watching her. And if she steps out of line, I will take her down. Down to China Town.
Brangelina - Seriously. I don't freaking care. I am SICK of reading about them, looking at them, seeing them. I don't care how many kids they have or where they are living or how often they have sex or which one is prettier. I will gag myself with my People magazine if I have to see one more picture of them. Seriously. Enough. Gah!
Heroes - Is anyone out there watching this season? Now I realize I have been really tired lately. And my patience is not what it should be. But OMG. What the heck is going on with this show? Future Peter and Past Peter? And Tracy is Nikki's test tube triplet sister? And Peter and Nathan's mom is Sylar's mom? What the flip is going on?? Why are they ruining this show? The only thing saving it for me are my few and far between glimpses of Mohinder. At this point, I am watching for him. Sendhil, if for some unseen reason you happen upon this blog and things do not work out for me and Uberman or Daniel Craig, I will happily run away with you. I am sure the 85 year old charmer I promised myself to a couple of weeks ago will understand. Kisses.
Mean People - I have said before that I personally do not believe it is ever acceptable to be outright rude. And in my new job, I have come across a few people (clients) who are just plain nasty. You know, I get it. We are dealing with money here. And money is emotional. Especially in today's economy. Regardless, there is never an excuse for acting like a hateful douchebag. Am I right? And to stand in front of me and give me a ten minute lecture on how the Patriot Act is destroying humanity?? Dude. Am I responsible for passing the Patriot Act? No. Am I wearing my "I support the Patriot Act" t-shirt today? No. Do you see the word "Senator" anywhere on my name tag? No. Am I required by law to enforce the Patriot Act? Yes. Are your negative feelings towards the Patriot Act going to change what I can or can not do for you and your money? NO!! So here's a tip. Write your thoughts down and mail them to Washington DC and stop WASTING MY TIME AND ACTING LIKE A MISERABLE BUTTHEAD. Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your business.
My possessed refrigerator - Regardless of your brand name, you are not aiding my kitchen in any way when you decide to produce ice at your own leisure. One minute we have ice. The next, nada. And then a month later you get your stainless steel panties out of a bunch and start putting out again (ice, I mean). And then a month later you are holding out on me yet again. Nothing has changed. Your lines are not frozen. There is no wayward cube trapped in your output mechanism. Look, I don't have time for your fickle games. And it seriously pisses me off to buy ice when I know you have the capability to produce large quantities. In case you are unaware, we are in a recession here. Give it up already. Or we are going to start talking to your sister Maytag about a trade. Capice?
The uncertain future of Three Sheets - The Mojo Network is going dark, which means one of my favorite shows, Three Sheets, has to find a new home. If you have not watched this show, it is freaking hilarious. Zane Lamprey travels the world learning the drinking customs in various cities. You can find it on http://www.hulu.com/ or you can catch reruns on MoJo until 12/01/08. Keep your fingers crossed that Zane and Three Sheets find a new home network soon!
Facebook Snub - I rarely send a friend request to anyone. I think I have sent a handful, but that is it. Well, a few weeks ago, Facebook suggested a friend to me. This girl was a good friend when I was in high school. And yeah, we lost touch, like everyone else. Honestly, Dee is my only high school friend I keep in regular touch with. However, since I joined Facebook, I have a few people from High School who have asked me to be their friend, which I kindly accepted. Even though I was not as close to these people as I was to this specific girl. So, remembering my friendship with this person, with whom I kept in touch for a few years after graduation, I sent her a friend request thinking she would be equally excited to reconnect with me. Yeah? No. She has not accepted my request. Dude, how freaking rude. I am really hurt. And seriously trying to think what I may have done 18 years ago to piss her off enough to decline my friend request. What. Ever. Okay? Facebook that, chickie. You suck.
And now for the Highs, these are the things I am loving right now -
My new iPod Nano - Uberman gave me the new iPod Nano for my birthday (in hot pink). My old iPod was one of the originals. I could use it as a boat anchor, I swear to you. So I loaded the new one up with lots of new songs. Two of them that I am LOVING right now are "I Don't Care" by Fallout Boy, and "Give's You Hell" by All American Rejects. I am so in love with both of these songs right now. Just ask my kids. They are so sick of me singing and dancing and embarrassing them in the car. Embarrassing them. Ha! Listen up kids. Need I remind you of the time I was nursing you in the Cheesecake Factory and you ripped the nursing blanket off me, exposing my boobs to not one, but two waiters and oh, say 17 other diners around us?? It doesn't matter which one of you it was. All three of you will pay, and pay dearly. So the singing and dancing in the car will continue. Get used to it.
Weight Watchers Lemon Snack Cakes - OMG. When you are jonesing for a little something sweet. 1 point people. 1 point of pure, unadulterated heaven and lemony goodness. Divine.
Lindemans Framboise - If you are not much of a beer drinker, I have a beer for you. It is a raspberry lambic. And I double dog dare you not to love it. Don't bother looking for it in your local grocery store, you will need to go to a place that sells craft brews. If you have a BevMo near you, you can find it there. Delicious.
This weekend's weather - The high today in Phoenix was 78. Yes, you read that correctly. A seven followed by an eight. Fahrenheit. It actually almost felt like Fall. And tonight, Uberman and I are sitting in the office with the sliding door to the balcony open. A cool breeze is rustling through the room. And I am wearing, get this, grey velour sweat pants from Old Navy. I have also begged Uberman to bury me in them when I die. He agreed. And you all are witnesses.
Uberman's cousin, Luke - He was the ring bearer at my wedding when he was five. Guess what? He's 20 now. And he's adorable. No really, I am so proud of this boy. He is currently staying with my in-laws while he goes to school to be an accountant, so we get to see him all the time. Uberman and I have gone out on double dates with him and his gorgeous, sweet, fabulous girlfriend. Luke and Uberman have always been very close, so they spend a lot of time together. And it just makes me so happy to have him in our lives. I know it sounds sappy, but he's just such a great kid. No, scratch that. He has turned out to be such a great man. I hope my boys follow in his footsteps and turn out to be as kind, responsible and well mannered as Lukie. Luckily he also has a great sense of humor. Last year he and I were having a conversation about how he doesn't remember not knowing me and how he used to call me "Maple" when he was little. How cute is that?? I have known this kid since he was a year old. So I was telling him it was so weird to see him becoming a man. I said "Luke. What happened? You used to be this little punk kid. I mean, I used to change your diapers! I have seen places of you that you haven't." And he looked into my eyes and said, "Well. Let me tell you something. A lot has changed." I died laughing.
Run Fat Boy Run - I Twittered about this movie, but really, it deserves a little write up. If you have not seen this movie, rent it! Simon Pegg (Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) plays kind of an irresponsible, immature dad who enters a marathon (which in the movie is pronounced maraTHUN) in order to impress the mother of his son (Thandie Newton) and compete with her new boyfriend (Hank Azaria). You will pee your pants watching this man train for his "marathun." Simon Pegg, as always, is hilarious. Interesting side note, this film was directed by David Schwimmer (Ross of Friends).
My Girls - I have told y'all before I have some amazing friends. Where would I be without these girls? So to all of you, thanks for being a part of my life and keeping me sane. You know who you are.
My Awesome New Job - Mean people, pantyhose and all. I love this place. I am having the best time meeting our existing clients and getting to know my new co-workers. I am so happy with my hours and my location and I am just really looking forward to learning more, getting more comfortable, and then taking over the universe. I mean really, who isn't?
So there you have it. My High Low. Thanks for sharing it with me. And if you would like to share yours, let me know. I would love to read it.