Saturday, October 11, 2008


Do you ever play the game High Low? You know, where you name the part of your day that was a high (hence the "High") and the part of your day that was the low (hence the "Low")? Well if you do, cool. If not, that's cool too. Because we are going to play right now. Except instead of High-Low for the day, I am going to play High-Low for right now. And because I like to end things on a positive note, we are going to start with the low. I guess that changes the game to Low-High? Whatever.

As of right now, this moment, these are April's Lows:

Boo's preschool teacher - Not a fan. I have been giving it time. Trying to get to know her. Trying to relate to her. Trying to understand her style. And she's just not doing it for me. Am I going to do anything about it? Probably not. Boo likes her and is very happy at school, so I guess that's all that matters. But I am watching her. And if she steps out of line, I will take her down. Down to China Town.

Brangelina - Seriously. I don't freaking care. I am SICK of reading about them, looking at them, seeing them. I don't care how many kids they have or where they are living or how often they have sex or which one is prettier. I will gag myself with my People magazine if I have to see one more picture of them. Seriously. Enough. Gah!

Heroes - Is anyone out there watching this season? Now I realize I have been really tired lately. And my patience is not what it should be. But OMG. What the heck is going on with this show? Future Peter and Past Peter? And Tracy is Nikki's test tube triplet sister? And Peter and Nathan's mom is Sylar's mom? What the flip is going on?? Why are they ruining this show? The only thing saving it for me are my few and far between glimpses of Mohinder. At this point, I am watching for him. Sendhil, if for some unseen reason you happen upon this blog and things do not work out for me and Uberman or Daniel Craig, I will happily run away with you. I am sure the 85 year old charmer I promised myself to a couple of weeks ago will understand. Kisses.

Mean People - I have said before that I personally do not believe it is ever acceptable to be outright rude. And in my new job, I have come across a few people (clients) who are just plain nasty. You know, I get it. We are dealing with money here. And money is emotional. Especially in today's economy. Regardless, there is never an excuse for acting like a hateful douchebag. Am I right? And to stand in front of me and give me a ten minute lecture on how the Patriot Act is destroying humanity?? Dude. Am I responsible for passing the Patriot Act? No. Am I wearing my "I support the Patriot Act" t-shirt today? No. Do you see the word "Senator" anywhere on my name tag? No. Am I required by law to enforce the Patriot Act? Yes. Are your negative feelings towards the Patriot Act going to change what I can or can not do for you and your money? NO!! So here's a tip. Write your thoughts down and mail them to Washington DC and stop WASTING MY TIME AND ACTING LIKE A MISERABLE BUTTHEAD. Thank you. I sincerely appreciate your business.

My possessed refrigerator - Regardless of your brand name, you are not aiding my kitchen in any way when you decide to produce ice at your own leisure. One minute we have ice. The next, nada. And then a month later you get your stainless steel panties out of a bunch and start putting out again (ice, I mean). And then a month later you are holding out on me yet again. Nothing has changed. Your lines are not frozen. There is no wayward cube trapped in your output mechanism. Look, I don't have time for your fickle games. And it seriously pisses me off to buy ice when I know you have the capability to produce large quantities. In case you are unaware, we are in a recession here. Give it up already. Or we are going to start talking to your sister Maytag about a trade. Capice?

The uncertain future of Three Sheets - The Mojo Network is going dark, which means one of my favorite shows, Three Sheets, has to find a new home. If you have not watched this show, it is freaking hilarious. Zane Lamprey travels the world learning the drinking customs in various cities. You can find it on or you can catch reruns on MoJo until 12/01/08. Keep your fingers crossed that Zane and Three Sheets find a new home network soon!

Facebook Snub - I rarely send a friend request to anyone. I think I have sent a handful, but that is it. Well, a few weeks ago, Facebook suggested a friend to me. This girl was a good friend when I was in high school. And yeah, we lost touch, like everyone else. Honestly, Dee is my only high school friend I keep in regular touch with. However, since I joined Facebook, I have a few people from High School who have asked me to be their friend, which I kindly accepted. Even though I was not as close to these people as I was to this specific girl. So, remembering my friendship with this person, with whom I kept in touch for a few years after graduation, I sent her a friend request thinking she would be equally excited to reconnect with me. Yeah? No. She has not accepted my request. Dude, how freaking rude. I am really hurt. And seriously trying to think what I may have done 18 years ago to piss her off enough to decline my friend request. What. Ever. Okay? Facebook that, chickie. You suck.

And now for the Highs, these are the things I am loving right now -

My new iPod Nano - Uberman gave me the new iPod Nano for my birthday (in hot pink). My old iPod was one of the originals. I could use it as a boat anchor, I swear to you. So I loaded the new one up with lots of new songs. Two of them that I am LOVING right now are "I Don't Care" by Fallout Boy, and "Give's You Hell" by All American Rejects. I am so in love with both of these songs right now. Just ask my kids. They are so sick of me singing and dancing and embarrassing them in the car. Embarrassing them. Ha! Listen up kids. Need I remind you of the time I was nursing you in the Cheesecake Factory and you ripped the nursing blanket off me, exposing my boobs to not one, but two waiters and oh, say 17 other diners around us?? It doesn't matter which one of you it was. All three of you will pay, and pay dearly. So the singing and dancing in the car will continue. Get used to it.

Weight Watchers Lemon Snack Cakes - OMG. When you are jonesing for a little something sweet. 1 point people. 1 point of pure, unadulterated heaven and lemony goodness. Divine.

Lindemans Framboise - If you are not much of a beer drinker, I have a beer for you. It is a raspberry lambic. And I double dog dare you not to love it. Don't bother looking for it in your local grocery store, you will need to go to a place that sells craft brews. If you have a BevMo near you, you can find it there. Delicious.

This weekend's weather - The high today in Phoenix was 78. Yes, you read that correctly. A seven followed by an eight. Fahrenheit. It actually almost felt like Fall. And tonight, Uberman and I are sitting in the office with the sliding door to the balcony open. A cool breeze is rustling through the room. And I am wearing, get this, grey velour sweat pants from Old Navy. I have also begged Uberman to bury me in them when I die. He agreed. And you all are witnesses.

Uberman's cousin, Luke - He was the ring bearer at my wedding when he was five. Guess what? He's 20 now. And he's adorable. No really, I am so proud of this boy. He is currently staying with my in-laws while he goes to school to be an accountant, so we get to see him all the time. Uberman and I have gone out on double dates with him and his gorgeous, sweet, fabulous girlfriend. Luke and Uberman have always been very close, so they spend a lot of time together. And it just makes me so happy to have him in our lives. I know it sounds sappy, but he's just such a great kid. No, scratch that. He has turned out to be such a great man. I hope my boys follow in his footsteps and turn out to be as kind, responsible and well mannered as Lukie. Luckily he also has a great sense of humor. Last year he and I were having a conversation about how he doesn't remember not knowing me and how he used to call me "Maple" when he was little. How cute is that?? I have known this kid since he was a year old. So I was telling him it was so weird to see him becoming a man. I said "Luke. What happened? You used to be this little punk kid. I mean, I used to change your diapers! I have seen places of you that you haven't." And he looked into my eyes and said, "Well. Let me tell you something. A lot has changed." I died laughing.

Run Fat Boy Run - I Twittered about this movie, but really, it deserves a little write up. If you have not seen this movie, rent it! Simon Pegg (Shawn of the Dead and Hot Fuzz) plays kind of an irresponsible, immature dad who enters a marathon (which in the movie is pronounced maraTHUN) in order to impress the mother of his son (Thandie Newton) and compete with her new boyfriend (Hank Azaria). You will pee your pants watching this man train for his "marathun." Simon Pegg, as always, is hilarious. Interesting side note, this film was directed by David Schwimmer (Ross of Friends).

My Girls - I have told y'all before I have some amazing friends. Where would I be without these girls? So to all of you, thanks for being a part of my life and keeping me sane. You know who you are.

My Awesome New Job - Mean people, pantyhose and all. I love this place. I am having the best time meeting our existing clients and getting to know my new co-workers. I am so happy with my hours and my location and I am just really looking forward to learning more, getting more comfortable, and then taking over the universe. I mean really, who isn't?

So there you have it. My High Low. Thanks for sharing it with me. And if you would like to share yours, let me know. I would love to read it.

Peace out.


Jessie said...

Hey Girlfriend,

I love Frambois. I had it at Yard House a while back and I still love it. Not to mention that it has a tad more alcohol per serving... Hmmmm....

I'm so happy that you love your job. I wish I was a customer at your bank and I could come in and harass, err, visit you.

On a side note, one of my lows is the disappearance of Scrabulous. It's like I went to Canada and they took it away.

My high for the day, the Cowboys play the Cardinals. Oh yeah. Sunday Football. Go Cowboys.

April said...

Jess! You are not rooting for the home team? What is wrong with you? Oh who am I kidding, I could not care less about football or the Cardinals.

And me too on Scrabulous. Flint and I always had a game going and now, nothing. There is a void in my life.

I too experienced the Framboise at Yardhouse the first time, but I only got the sample because I was already enjoying an appletini. But Uberman has brought bottles home for me as a surprise now and again and I am hooked. They also sell it at AJ's but it is way more expensive than BevMo. I have also tried the sour apple (not as good) and the blueberry (outright nasty).

Becky said... you guys say it is a good experience for a beer...but you both are diet coke lovers...can it compete with the burning bubbly sensation of our liquid brown favorite?

Since I can't try it for a few more weeks...please tell me what I am missing...and save me a bottle, mmmmkay?

Oh, and promise to take me out for one when this miserable experience I mean pregnancy is over! LOL

**BTW, Maple, we play High-Low at the dinner table with the kids...and you should hear some of the hilarity that ensues. (One son's high was the fart that he let that sounded like a question.)

I know. It is sad.

The Maid

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

I think our ice makers are having an affair...mine died on me too!!! $1.50 for a bag of frozen water in cubed form is a crime.

And ditto, ditto, ditto to Scrabbulous. I do have a lot more time on my hands, though...

for a different kind of girl said...

adding 'Run, Fat Boy, Run' and WW lemon cakes to my list of things to check out! I love me some Simon Pegg. I could also love seeing me trying to stop at just one lemon cake, too!

Glad you're loving your new job!

Lisa J said...

Oh, I TOTALLY agree about Heroes! What's up with that? We were watching it last week and about 1/2 way through I announced "And Heroes lost me riiiiiiight here." I'll give it a few more episodes and we'll see. And I am so not happy with what they're doing with Mohinder. If he turns out to be a scabby fly man, I'm outta there.

And the facebook girl may just not be checking her facebook/email as much as those of us who are addicted. I had a friend do the same thing to me, but finally became my friend (again, I guess?) this week (after 3 months) because she hadn't ever checked her facebook/email. Hopefully this paragraph made sense to you--I'm way too distraught over the snow that is falling at my house to think straight.

kristen s said...

Hmmm... let's see....

My 13 year old daughter who has been posessed by teen angst or a demon for the last year telling me she "hates me and I'm ruining her life" (actually this is a low EVERY day). Ahhhh, the joys of parenthood.

My Dallas Cowboys losing to the loser Cardinals in overtime (sucks, doesn't it, Jessie).

My husband being a nasty grump because the Cowboys lost and he has to go back to work tomorrow.


WW lemon cakes. April, I'm right there with you! I just wish they were cheaper and I hadn't ever wasted money on the other flavors because they aren't nearly as good.

The end of Fall Break! The kids are going back to school tomorrow. Yee-Haw!

And finally, my biggest "high":
**drumroll please**
As of yesterday, all of my kids have completed their birthdays for the year, and I don't have to throw anymore parties! I suffer from hostess anxiety (not the snack cake kind, the party throwing kind...I WISH it was the snack cake kind) so I LOVE it when they are finally done!

Can I get a whoop whoop? Oh, and this weather is freaking AWESOME!

Chris H said...

High: kids are back at school
Low: I am feeling fat.
High: I have got lots of birthday cards to open on me 50th birthday.
Low: maybe YOU didn't send me one!

I love Brad and Ang!
I just joined Facebook, don't go there much though. You can add me as a friend! Chris Dietcokerocks.
There ya go, another friend for ya!

Coffee Bean said...

The Maid's one has me laughing so hard that I cannot even think anymore.

My life sucks today. High? It's almost over... and I think I am going to put on my fuzzy slippers and drive to Sonic to get a Rt. 44 sized Diet Coke with 14 slices of lime. Yeah... I'm gonna do that.

I've already got the lows listed on my blog... and today was just more of the same.