Monday, September 29, 2008

Working with the Public

I got hit on today. By a man no younger than 85. Oh that's right, Baby. I am in demand. I mean granted the guy's eyesight was obviously shot. He probably had some kind of optic disorder where everything he sees is tall and thin. But still. I'll take what I can get. Here's how our conversation went.

Flirty Guy: You're sure a pretty girl.
Me: Uuuhh... Thank you.
Flirty Guy: You got a fella?
Me: A what?
Flirty Guy: A fella. A guy. A duuuuude.
Me: Um, wow. Yes. Yes I do.
Flirty Guy: Figures. He ever let you fool around?
Me: (Staring.)
Flirty Guy: Maybe on a case by case basis?
Me: (Smiling) Um, no. Probably not. He's a little old fashioned, I'm afraid. I'm sorry.
Flirty Guy: Oh. (Winks) That's too bad.
Me: Yeah, for you. (Smiling, winking back.)
Flirty Guy: Will you let me know if things don't work out?
Me: You're first on the list. Officially.
Flirty Guy: Thanks, Sweetie.
Me: Anytime.
Flirty Guy: (Slips on blue blockers and shuffles toward the door.)

Oh yeah. 37, mother of three. But I've still got it. Don't think for one minute I didn't milk that all day. "What? You need me to do what? I'm sorry. I am too busy being eye candy for the geriatric demographic. Yeah? Well, you know, everyone has their niche."

Check. Me. Out.

16 comments:

Kristi said...

That's too cute! I like flirting with old men - mostly because it's never been threatening in any way and they're just so darn cute!

Oh ya - you've definitely got it baby!

Chris H said...

Ha ha ha, I'm sure it was YOUR HEAD I saw on the midday news... it's so big right now!!!! Nice one April... getting hit on by a geriatric dirty old man! LOL

for a different kind of girl said...

HILARIOUS!

However, ha, um, a flirting up is a flirting up! File that one away for a day when you're just not feeling it, and you'll be smiling over how hot you are in no time!

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

you sassy little thing...

Sue said...

Hey good for you! A little confidence booster never hurt anyone! No matter where or who it comes from.

I remember not too long ago being on a trip with my oldest daughter and a bunch of her friends. It's when that song "Stacy's Mom has got it goin on..." was popular. My daughter's friends changed it to her name and sang "Sheri's Mom has got..." It cracked me up, and totally made me smile. It still does when I think about it...and that was from a bunch of high school boys. Sweet, huh? I mean, that's not sick or anything, right? I mean seriously, they were just kidding around...oh, why do I suddenly feel sick to my stomach...

Bogart in P Towne said...

Old guys have needs too you know...

Trisha said...

Who cares how old the geezer . . . oops! I mean GUY is? He has good taste and that is all there is to say about it! You go girl!

Alpine said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
chandy said...

You sure do manage to encounter some crazies...maybe you can add him to your "list" (right under James Bond of course)

If you do want to start running, I've heard really good things about the "Couch to 5K" program. Maybe I'll see you at a race in a few months!

DevilsHeaven said...

"A fella" cracks me up!!! That is great, " a case by case basis." Seriously, you should have gotten his number.

DutchMac said...

In this world there is a serious shortage of love, praise, and decent chocolate. I say a girl should take all of them in whatever quantities she can get them, and savour it all. :-)

Stacey said...

Woo Hoo!! You're sizzlin!

And so cute that you flirted back. You obviously made his day, as well. Poor old pervy guy!

I had the same thing happen to me - but by a much younger man of about 65 on Saturday night. I was acting as the greeter at a fund raiser party and I was asking people to please sign in at the guest book. My betrothed came in with a group of other guys fresh from the assisted living home down the road and he asked me what would happen if he didn't sign the book. Not picking up on where this was going, I said that nobody got past me without signing the book. Big smile for the cute old guy. Then the hottie asked if I would tackle the person who didn't sign the book, and beginning to catch on, I warily said maybe. Then he winked and said, "Cuz I'd sure like to wrestle with you on the ground.". While I was totally disgusted and even threw up in my mouth a little, I couldn't help but have a bit of a sashay in my step the rest of the evening. Yep. I can still get a rise out of Mars. Go me.

Mom Taxi Julie said...

whoop whoop!! You GO girl ;O)!

Becky said...

Every Tom has their Katie...

You've got the sassy haircut..so why the heck not?

Maybe he would even be into the purple rock/blue light bulb thing.

LOL

Trust me... I know that as pathetic as it makes me...it definitely makes my day!

Oh, I've got it...it must be the ironed clothes...maybe he just doesn't see creases and pressed collars like yours these days anymore...you little vixen.

The Maid

WILLIAM said...

You dont have to go to the party but it is nice to be invited.

Coffee Bean said...

That's better than being hit on by a very large greasy guy sporting a hairy butt crack ten years younger at Blockbuster with someone from your church the next aisle over.

How would you like to fill that niche?