Monday, September 15, 2008

My Day In Numbers

Number of new jobs started today: 1

Number of drug tests successfully passed: 1! (Phew.)

Number of hours spent on the freeway for commute (both ways): 1.5 (not bad)

Number of hours spent in a beige classroom listening to facilitator while critiquing her training skills: 6.25 (I swear to you that last 15 minutes was the longest of my life!)

Number of awesome benefits at new job: 1,385,260 (give or take a few)

Number of blow hards in training with me who would NOT SHUT UP AND QUIT ASKING STUPID QUESTIONS (Do you NOT see the packet of info in front of you with the answers ON IT???): 1

Number of young girls in training with me who spent the entire lunch break talking about her weekend on her cell phone: 1

Number of guys she "Hooked Up" with over the weekend: 2

Number of times my mouth fell open during her conversation: 4

Number of people in the room who could hear every word she said: 12

Number of times I wanted to kick the people next to me for talking while the facilitator was talking: 4 (Our we grown ups or what, people? If I wanted to spend my day shushing people I would have stayed home!)

Number of diet pepsi's I drank today to stay awake: 3 (I'm not proud.)

Number of people I saw in the carpool lane who were not carpoolers: 17! (And that was only counting for about four miles! Cheaters!)

Number of hours of sleep I got last night: 4.5

Number of bags under my eyes: 2 (Under each eye. Oh yeah, I am so hot today.)

Number of hours I plan to sleep tonight: 9!

Number of Pizzas I plan to order for dinner tonight: 2

Number of business days until I actually get to work at my wicked awesome new office: 10

Number of awesome in laws shuttling my kids around for the next two weeks: 3 (FIL, MIL, SIL)

Number of hearts I need to hold all the love I have for my awesome family, friends (real and bloggy) and new job: 18,000!!


for a different kind of girl said...

I'm glad you're still in love with this great new job and your only in the training mode! How exciting for you! I just hope chatty girl is a bit more discreet tomorrow!

Caitlin said...

LOVE this post!

Thought on the carpool lane: I have SO BEEN THERE! How DARE you, Sole Person? And then I found out that if you have a hybrid then you can drive in the HOV lane too. So...there ya go.

Caitlin said...

Oh shoot. I forgot the rest of my comment which is to say:

You and I are SO THE SAME when it comes to all the things you mentioned in your class! Oh man, the stuff I heard on my lunchbreak today. I swear, it was like watching a table of flirty 7th graders Trying To Be Cool.
Also? DO NOT TALK while the instructor is talking. And yes there IS such a thing as a stupid question. At least show that you're trying.

Kristi said...

That sounds awesome! Workplace is so fun for discovering new and outlandish ways in which people are morons.

I'll tell ya - where I live carpool-lane-watching is a sport! People can, and do, bet on when someone will get their asses pulled over - and it is the greatest feeling in the world when it happens!!! Take that karma, bitches!

aschmoel said...

This post is awesome!

With your background I can so see you doing all the things you mentioned. It kills me how ridonculous people are. Tomorrow, act like her friend, get her number and text her to shut the hell up!

It isn't like she will be working at your branch.

Good luck tomorrow...and as a fellow "drink diet soda to stay awake" abuser, I have actually found that drinking water keeps me more alert. Of course, you will have to get up and pee every ten minutes.

9 days will be a cake walk for the Queen!

Love ya,

Becky said...

This post has inspired me to document my traffic school experience last weekend. :)

It was like you were talking about my day! LOL

There was a lady there who I sat at the same table with for a 10 minute break and I wanted to tell her to shut if I wanted to know anything about her...puleez.

I wanted in and out of there...I was so not there to make friends! LOL

:) Too funny.

Have a great week...and only a few more days until you don't have to commute.


The Maid

DevilsHeaven said...

HA! That is great. I hate training classes and I hate people who can't shut up during them and I especially hate the people who talk super loud on their cell phones in public places! You should have asked her for those 2 guys' numbers so you could hook up with them too!

Trisha said...

Aren't trainings fun? After the first one of your life, they are all pretty much repeats of stuff you already know or of stuff that any non-brain-dead adult should already know. Really!

I love people who think that no one can hear them when they talk on their cell phones! Hello! You are not in a cone-of-silence! Get real! The crowd of people around you does not vanish the moment you flip open your phone!

Stacey said...

Number of girls who deserved this awesome job: 1

Sue said...

I bet you can't wait to get to the "real" office and get settled in.

Your post reminded me of when I spent a day at Jury duty...oh the people that you meet there! YIKES!

Bogart in P Towne said...

91 hours of sleep? Wow, you might miss a few days of work and you must have a very understanding husband!

Wait...what? That says 9, exclamation point?