Wednesday, September 3, 2008

Barbie - I Can Be Inappropriate

Had a little time to kill today while Boo was in preschool, so I walked around Toys R Us for a little while. I know, weird place to go without kids. But both Boo and Junior have birthdays coming up and believe it or not Christmas is not too far away, so I thought it might be good to start scoping out the prospects.
I'm always drawn to the Barbie aisle. I love Barbie. I know, how totally anti-feminist of me. Guess what? I occasionally eat at Hooters, too. And I know Barbie puts some unrealistic expectations out there for girls, but I like it that there is a line of dolls called Barbie - I Can Be. There's Barbie - I Can Be a Doctor, Barbie - I Can Be a Teacher, Barbie - I Can Be a Soccer Star. Thank God Barbie finally realized she needed to get a job! However, these dolls are still a tad bit unrealistic.
This one for example:

This is Barbie - I Can Be a Zoo Doctor. Uuuuummmm..... Is this really appropriate zoo employee attire? I mean come on, bare midriff? Isn't that a little dangerous around the animals? Shouldn't you be a little more covered? Protect that delicate skin from sharp claws and teeth? I don't know. And is it just me or does this Barbie look just like Chrissy from Three's Company? She just looks too dumb to be a doctor at the Zoo.
And then there's this one:
This is Barbie - I Can Be a TV Chef. Really? Because if you take away the refrigerator and the work station it looks like Barbie - I Can Be a Porn Star. Seriously? Red boots? I have never seen Rachel Ray or Paula Deen in a pair of red boots. And what is up with the pony tails?

But this one is my very favorite:
This is Barbie for President - 2008. Yeah. A real female politician would not be caught dead in a blue suit with sparkly silver pinstripes. Can any of you see Hillary or even the lovely Sarah Palin carrying a pink phone and pink laptop? I am 100% certain our own Janet Napolitano would beat the crap out of a chick dressed like this. And check out her inauguration gown. A little too Marilyn Monroe, don't you think? Come to think of it, that blue suit looks a little Monica Lewinsky. Maybe this one should have been called "Barbie for Mistress to the President." And I bet she's not wearing panties under that suit either.

Come on Mattel. I appreciate that you are trying to encourage young girls to follow their dreams. I know you want to reinforce that little girls can be anything they want to be. But Jeez Louise, can't she do it with her clothes on? Can we please get a Barbie that does not look like a trampy whore?


Caitlin said...

I am CRACKING UP over this. I even just red the TV Chef part out loud to Zach. PERFECTION.

"Thank god Barbie finally realized she needed to get a job!" PERFECTION.

I remember a Barbie I had when I was little: She wore a pink suede-y suit with pink heels and a pink briefcase and some kind of pink and white hat (it was the 80s!). The best part? Her skirt turned inside out to reveal a poofy party dress bottom, and if you removed her jacket, you got to see her slutty hot pink tube top (a perfect match to the skirt). I think they were trying to encourage some kind of Office Barbie.....but fell short of actually calling her Working Girl Barbie (maybe because the truth hurts?).

Lisa J said...

Well, to Barbie Zoo Doctor's credit, while she IS wearing a skanky midruff, at least she has an animal (a panda, maybe?) on her skanky midriff. That's gotta count for something.

aschmoel said...

Mattel is trying to keep up with BRATZ! Whom I have long since called Hooker Barbie. They are everywhere and are taking over the planet. They should just call them what they are:

Skanks...(you know that is why they spelled it with a Z) so people wouldn't be able to put this together...

LOL...I am so excited for my daughter to grow up and play with such wonderful role models.

Btw...I love that you walk around Toys R Us on your "queen" time...

WILLIAM said...

If they stop making Barbie look like a trampy whore...I am going to stop buying them for my

Kristi said...

OK, Presidential Barbie - what the hell is up with the dog in the ragtime hat?!? Is that supposed to be Kennedy-esque? Like she's spending a weekend in the Hamptons before heading back out on the campaign trail with her pink laptop, iphone and HUGE silver brush??? Who the hell puts those packages together?! a little worked up there. Once again, great observations April. You're my kinda girl!

for a different kind of girl said...

I love the Barbie aisle, too. If my boys - including my husband - ever lose me, and if they dare to even find me, they can find me in the Barbie aisle at Target. Pity I've not been down one lately. Barbies handlers should definitely know better than to allow sparkly suits for someone so versed on the needs of middle class America as she makes a run for the White House!

Becky said...

Whatever happened to Skipper?

You know the butt-ugly Barbie side-kick...that was dressed as and looked more like trailer trash Barbie most of the time?

I think they need to make a matching Ken for the zoo-doctor setup. It could be made to look like Steve Irwin...all in camouflage and it could come with a little crocodile. Oh, and when you push HIS bare would hear "Crikey!"

Dang, I should work for Mattel.

The Maid

The Fat Girl said...

LOL thats so funny I wish we had Toys R Us in New Zealand. Your right if you take away the refrigerator and the work station it looks like Barbie - I Can Be a Porn Star.

DevilsHeaven said...

The Barbie I can be President reminds me of Legally Blonde. The small dog, the pink laptop, the shiny clothes emhm. Apparently Barbie is like Elle and is just misunderstood.
Red hooker boots and all.

Narm said...

But what about guys' roll models as kids. I can be G.I. Joe with shoulder mounted rocket launcher or Teenage Mutant Ninja turtle who obviously smoke dope. And you wonder why guys turn out the way we do.

Roland Hulme said...

Will President Barbie pick her dog up by the ears like whatshisname did?

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