Monday, August 18, 2008

Help Wanted

I have a job interview today. And I'm excited. And nervous. And excited. And really hoping they don't ask me that "What are your weaknesses" question. I hate that question. Because it's BS and we all know it. They are looking for you to turn a strength into a weakness. Did you know that? It's true. I have been the interviewer before so I know this to be a fact. And so most of the time people say "Well, I am overly organized. I have been accused of going for the overkill in the organization department." Such a bunch of crap.

And the thing is, when I was the interviewer, I could spot the BS-ers right away. I knew if you were lying to me. I knew you were telling me what you thought I wanted to hear. But I get it. I understand why we lie when answering this question. Because really, who is going to hire us if we tell the truth? But I learned quickly what the BS answers really meant.

For example, if someone says "I care too much about others." This usually means that person is co-dependant, obsessive and will end up getting fired in order to avoid a sexual harassment suit.

If someone said they were creative and a free spirit, it meant they were unorganized and needed micromanaging in order to meet deadlines.

If I heard "I sometimes have a difficult time asking others for help" it meant "I'm selfish, shallow and a complete control freak who doesn't work well with others."

"I don't mind taking work home with me" meant "I steal office supplies."

"I'm extremely dependable" usually meant "I'm probably going to call in sick at least once a month so I can sit home and catch up on my TiVo."

But my absolute favorite was "I'm a big supporter of management and I like to motivate others around me." This meant "I'll be very nice to you to your face but as soon as you turn you back I'm going to talk about how fat your ass looks in those pants and how all your ideas suck."

The key is to be honest and be yourself. Right? My plan is to go in there, wow them with my confidence, dazzle them with my awesomeness and impress them with my intelligence.

And of course, distract them with a little cleavage.

Wish me luck!


Kristi said...

Oh, this post is so true. I was an interviewing manager for many years and slogging through all the BS was sometimes my only entertainment!

May the Force Be With You!

Trisha said...

Good luck with your interview and try to give them the appropriate BS answer! That is my least favorite question too - if you are honest you probably won't be hired!

Becky said...

Tell them your weakness is shopping...translation...I NEED this job. LOL

The Maid

chandy said...

This is awesome April... I could use a funny person at my office! Good luck!

for a different kind of girl said...

Good luck with your interview! Hope it's for a fun and exciting and rewarding job!

I used to hate that question, too. Both giving and recieving it. I think because there's real way to answer it!

kristen s said...

Go get 'em, April!

Just don't do what one of the last people my husband interviewed did... The lady bounded into his office, threw a pair of tennis shoes on his desk, and said, "I carry these wherever I go because I'm always willing to go that extra mile for the company!" So cheesy, I'm pretty sure it would have made a hunk of Velveeta wince. Needless to say, he didn't hire her.

They will undoubtedly want you to work for them. Just make sure THEY are worthy of YOU...Got it? Best of luck!!!

Katie @ 3 Blondes and a Redhead said...

LOL! A little cleavage never hurt anyone. My push up bra got me TONS of helpful men gushing over me at Lowe's last weekend.

I love your new layout. Super cute!!!

And did I just see Meghan McCain's blog on your list of reads on the right? I'm going to check it out right now...

Lisa J said...

Hey! You said "awesomeness" again! I love that word.

Hope everything went well for you and your interview! And how come I always get the word verification thing down below that I can never read? Is it "w"? Is it "vv"?

DevilsHeaven said...

Good Luck!

Anonymous said...

I hope it went well, April!! If they don't hire you it's clearly their loss, and who wants to work for a bunch of idiots, anyway?

That question for some reason always came easily to me-- my answer (the truth): "I tend to be a perfectionist, and sometimes I spend too much time on something from which I should just move on."

That's my answer & I'm stickin' to it.

Bogart in P Towne said...

I have always thought that the movie Office Space needed an interview scene. Some of these would have been funny.

WILLIAM said...

So is your weakness your cleavage?