I have a job interview today. And I'm excited. And nervous. And excited. And really hoping they don't ask me that "What are your weaknesses" question. I hate that question. Because it's BS and we all know it. They are looking for you to turn a strength into a weakness. Did you know that? It's true. I have been the interviewer before so I know this to be a fact. And so most of the time people say "Well, I am overly organized. I have been accused of going for the overkill in the organization department." Such a bunch of crap.
And the thing is, when I was the interviewer, I could spot the BS-ers right away. I knew if you were lying to me. I knew you were telling me what you thought I wanted to hear. But I get it. I understand why we lie when answering this question. Because really, who is going to hire us if we tell the truth? But I learned quickly what the BS answers really meant.
For example, if someone says "I care too much about others." This usually means that person is co-dependant, obsessive and will end up getting fired in order to avoid a sexual harassment suit.
If someone said they were creative and a free spirit, it meant they were unorganized and needed micromanaging in order to meet deadlines.
If I heard "I sometimes have a difficult time asking others for help" it meant "I'm selfish, shallow and a complete control freak who doesn't work well with others."
"I don't mind taking work home with me" meant "I steal office supplies."
"I'm extremely dependable" usually meant "I'm probably going to call in sick at least once a month so I can sit home and catch up on my TiVo."
But my absolute favorite was "I'm a big supporter of management and I like to motivate others around me." This meant "I'll be very nice to you to your face but as soon as you turn you back I'm going to talk about how fat your ass looks in those pants and how all your ideas suck."
The key is to be honest and be yourself. Right? My plan is to go in there, wow them with my confidence, dazzle them with my awesomeness and impress them with my intelligence.
And of course, distract them with a little cleavage.
Wish me luck!