Tuesday, July 1, 2008

I Always Tell the Truth, Even When I Lie

So we watched Scarface.

Of course, I don't live under a rock so I kind of had a good idea what the story was about. I knew it was about a drug lord. With scars on his face. I assumed it would be sort of a gangster type movie. And because the title suggested a struggle to overcome appearances, I thought we were looking at a Godfather meets Elephant Man type scenario. And although I never expected everyone to accept Christ as their Lord and Savior at the end, I assumed there would be some kind of redemption theme in the story line. I was misled by the black/white poster. Or I'm just really stupid.

Other than the beginning of the movie when he briefly and vaguely discusses his scar with the police, we never hear mention of the scar again. As a matter of fact, in some scenes we don't even see it. It kind of fades in and out, along with the accents of most of the cast. Which were terrible. I don't think they budgeted for dialogue coaches back then.

But I am sure when this movie was originally made - in 1983, it was a pioneer. It was probably shocking and provocative. But twenty five years later, it's well . . . dated. Funny, even. Borderline cheesy, if I dare say.

Am I glad I finally watched it? Yeah. Was I disappointed? Yes. But I did learn a few things, and that is what is important.

Want to know what I learned? Yes? I knew you would!

Top 10 Lessons Learned From Scarface
10. Don't lie to the immigration police. (They don't like it.)
9. Turning up the TV volume in a hotel room can drown out the sound of a chain saw. (Good to know, this could come in handy some day.)
8. Zebra print interior in an old Cadillac is tacky. (Apparently know one told the guys at Pimp My Ride.)
7. You can't pick up women by flapping your tongue at them. (Shocking, I know. Because it's such a classy move.)
6. Your mother will not be proud of you unless you earn an honest living. (Mom, does internet porn count?)
5. There is no Business Casual if you are drug lord security. (Which someone should write to the labor board about, because come on - it's hot and muggy in Miami.)
4. If you kill your sister's husband, she will try to kill you. (Lucky for you, she will probably be a bad shot.)
3. Money can't buy happiness, peace of mind or good taste. (But it was a good idea to build the fountain under the second story landing, otherwise he would have landed on the floor. I'm all about less mess after shoot outs, you know?)
2. "Every day above ground is a good thing." (Crooked cops can be so wise.)
1. Drugs are bad. (Almost as bad as early 80's fashion.)
And for all you Scarface die hards out there, I found some trivia on IMDB you might already know, but I thought was interesting.
This film is actually a remake from a 1932 film with the same title. However, the original was about an Italian gangster. I wonder if they cast Cuban actors to play the Italians?
The actor who plays Manny (Steven Bauer) is the only actual Cuban in the principal cast. This I found very funny because I thought his accent was the worst. John Travolta was originally considered for this part. He turned it down to do Staying Alive and the blockbuster Two of a Kind.
Although the film is set in Miami, it was shot almost entirely in Los Angeles. The Miami Tourist Board did not allow them to film in Miami because they felt it portrayed Cuban immigrants in a negative light.
The "F" Bomb and all derivatives are used 226 times for an average of once every 1.32 minutes. Which is a typical evening with the King and Queen. (Oh relax. We watched it after the kids went to bed.)
Oliver Stone wrote the screenplay while battling cocaine addiction. And in his drug induced stupor, thought it would be a good idea to name the character Tony Montana after his favorite football player - Tony Romo. (Just a little Disneyland Jungle Cruise humor for ya. If you didn't get that joke you need to book a trip to The Happiest Place on Earth pronto! Of course I meant Joe Montana.)
The film was originally rated X. The film's producers called a meeting with the MPAA and brought along a panel of experts that included real undercover narcotics officers. After hearing that the film was an accurate portrayal of the drug underworld, the rating was changed to R. Yet they couldn't find an accurate portrayal of a Cuban accent??
So all in all, not a total loss. Like I said before, I am glad I finally saw it. And when they remake it in 20 years, starring Nick Jonas and Dakota Fanning, I am sure I will see it again.
Peace Out.


Mom Taxi Julie said...

I've never seen that movie either, sounds like I'm not missing much ;o)

Bogart in P Towne said...

Proud of you...now to get you to watch Its a Wonderful Life...

Roland Hulme said...

It is an AWESOME movie, but I will confess, I think it's a 'bloke flick' more than anything.

I still have my 'Scarface' suit I wear to 80's parties.

And - no joke - my word verification is 'yeyo' which is what Tony Montana calls cocaine! How weird is that?

for a different kind of girl said...

You know, there needs to be an animated version of this movie now. I'd see that! Only they could probably make it even more graphic than the live action version.

I stumbled upon this movie on TV not that long ago. TV really doesn't do justice to that chainsaw scene!

DevilsHeaven said...

You crack my shit up.

Caitlin said...

Yay! I am not-so-secretly glad that it was overrated, just like my Pulp-tastic experience. Isn't it strange, in a way, that there is all this pressure to feel like you are SUPPOSED to like it, and if you don't then you are sort of breaking the RULES?

kristen s said...

Ooooh I knew it would be loaded with F-bombs, but you were apparently smarter than me and watched your dirty-mouthed movie once your kids went to bed. I'll have to try that sometime.

Oh, and I have another movie to stay away from: Semi Pro. That was two hours of my life I'll also never get back. I usually love all the Will Ferrel stuff, but this one... not so much. If you haven't seen it yet, don't bother.

I'm going on vacation tomorrow, so I'll be going through blog reading withdrawl for the next week or so, but I'll look forward to catching up once I return. I'm so freaking excited too, because I got to pack jackets! It's about 154 degrees outside here in "hotterthanhell" AZ, and I'm packing windbreakers for the whole family. Woo hoo! Your blog made me wish I was going to Disneyland though... oh how I love the Jungle Cruise. That "back side of water" joke never gets old.

Anonymous said...

My my Miss April... you are quite the talent! How you can take a movie that I couldn't even watch after the first 15 minutes or so and turn it into a fabulously funny post is spectacular!

Sue said...

Loved and totally agreed with your review April! I saw it when it first came out and was shocked at all the "F-bombs" but of course, I was but a wee youngster then...(hey, a girl can dream, can't she?)

Wonderful World of Weiners said...

ALL those belly buttons were mine!!! Especially the cow!!

Hallie :)