Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Say Hello To My Little Secret

What I am about to tell you is shocking. Earth shattering. Life altering. Prepare to have your mind blown. Ready? Deep breath. And here we go.


I have never seen Scarface.

I know! Unbelievable. And I don't know why. Because for one thing, I own it. Yes, I have the DVD. Still all shrink wrapped in plastic. I want to see it, I really do. I mean come on, Al Pacino? Who was cooler back then than Al Pacino? I just never got around to it. Maybe this weekend I will finally watch it and then I will tell you all about it? Like my new friend Caitlin just recently saw Pulp Fiction. And she was not impressed. But that's okay. I wasn't either when I saw it.

But you know how everyone on MTV Cribs has a Scarface movie poster in their theater room? Well, we have a theater room. A theater room sans Scarface poster. Some people have called that a travesty. A slap in the face of the laws of home decor. So we should at least see Scarface to make up for that, right? It's a shame. How can I call myself a movie lover, a lover of films if you will, and not see Scarface?

I feel better that you all know this about me. And since today we are discussing cinematic confessions, I think I'll get the rest of them off my chest too. Ready Bogart? This one is for you.

I have never seen The Princess Bride. (Gasp!)

I think I have tried watching it a few times and I am sorry to say . . . I just, um . . well . . . sort of don't get it. Hey, hey! Now hold on there. Don't get your panties in a wad. I want to get it. I do. So many people I respect and admire list this as their favorite movie of all time. And I just can't get into it. But hope is not lost, for I will try again. Just one more time. Because I'm all about perseverance.

I have never seen Gremlins. This movie was HUGE when I was in the seventh or eighth grade. Eighth I think. Either way, never saw it. Probably won't see it either.

I've never seen Footloose all the way through. I think I've seen the beginning and the end, but I missed the entire middle. So I know the town outlawed dancing and then at the end they are all dancing. I have no idea how or why they changed their minds. I don't care. Really. Jeez, I hope I didn't just spoil it for you.

I have not seen Fletch, The Hunt for Red October, Taxi Driver, or Apocalypse Now. I tell you in my 100 plus things I have never seen the Exorcist. And I never will. I also tell you why. I've never seen Chariots of Fire, Coming to America, Life Is Beautiful or any pre-Daniel Craig Bond flick. I haven't seen Blade Runner, Tron, or any of the three Mad Max movies. Or any movie with Jean Claude Van Damme. And I am very proud to say I have never seen a Star Trek movie. Not one.

And guess what else? I haven't seen It's A Wonderful Life. And I'm trying not to. Just to be a rebel. Because I don't want to see it and then wonder why it's such a big deal. I don't want to be disappointed in the rumored cinematic masterpiece that is It's A Wonderful Life.

Because that's what happens. Classic movie like that are infamous. Expectations are so high. Their titles are synonymous with things like American Culture, Christmas, and All That Is Right With The World. And then you see them and you think "What is wrong with me?" Just like The Princess Bride. I want to get it. I want to love it.

Just a few months ago I watched Sophie's Choice. I hated it. It is two and half hours of my life I am never getting back. That's when I decided I would take a stand. I will not see It's A Wonderful Life! And I won't.

But this weekend? Scarface. I'll let you know how it goes.

14 comments:

chandy said...

When I was a kid I thought Spaceballs was the actual Star Wars and not the spoof. (I never actually saw Star Wars until I was in college, and I don't think I even watched it all the way through.) I think Spaceballs is a masterpiece, however.

kristen s said...

I have never seen Scarface either! I think it was on TV once, and I caught about 3 minutes of it, but it didn't hold my attention, so on I went.

I'm also with you on The Princess Bride. I didn't make it through the whole thing either. No offense to anyone who loved it... just didn't float my boat!

And I did actually try once to sit through It's a Wonderful Life, but it's soooo long and my attention span just couldn't handle it (and I consider myself to be a fairly patient person... okay, maybe not in my old age, but I was much younger when I tried see what all the hype was about).

But April, you MUST see Fletch. It was made back when Chevy Chase was still funny so you've missed out, my friend. We quote something from that movie at least once a week in my house. Do yourself a favor and skip Scarface this weekend and see Fletch instead.

Besides, Scarface looks icky and is probably loaded with "F" bombs. If you're luck is anything like mine, your kids will walk in every time they let one fly.

Becky said...

You are not a Princess Bride fan?

INCONCEIVABLE!

Oh...but Scarface, and the other ickies...that is okay...but you really MUST watch It's A Wonderful Life just once...during the Holidays, when you have no kids awake so that you can really enjoy it...and you should watch it with someone who will not encourage you to heckle it in any way or turn it off and go fool around.

Watching that movie (I'm a Jimmy Stewart fan) is one of my favorite things to do at Christmastime...when you are all full, and tired, and have already watched ELF. :)

So...rebel if you must, but not with THAT movie. :) Do it for me. (I mean I saw Sex and the City with you...and nothing is worse than a full on Schlong shot or wearing a dead bird on your wedding day.)
Gross.

Your friend anyway,
The Maid

Chris H said...

I havn't seen it either... and to most people's horror I have NEVER seen Star Wars at all or The Lord of The Rings!!!! And LOTR was made here in New Zealand! Ohhh errrr.

Bogart in P Towne said...

I can forgive a lot of things. I can forgive the exclusion of Princess Bride from your viewership.

I, however, have to spend a lot of time contemplating how to react about not seeing "It's a Wonderful Life". Is it the greatest movie ever? Nope. Is it superbly acted, edited, and scripted? Nope.

But the movie is a GREAT story. A universal story. A story that needs to be heard/seen.

It doesn't hurt that Donna Reed is one of the prettiest ever.

for a different kind of girl said...

Scarface is much better on DVD than on TV, which is where I've seen it the most often. You can't fool me, TV censors, into thinking Al Pacino is saying "fluffer."

I've never seen Bladerunner, any of the Lord of the Rings movies, the Blue's Brothers (all of which we own), nor The Sound of Music, and I vowed after watching It's A Wonderful Life that I'd never sit through that again. Ever.

Um...same goes for The Wizard of Oz.

Roland Hulme said...

Scarface is ace, you'll love it.

The Exorcist... Damn, I hate that movie. Since I'm an athiest, I get annoyed that I got so freaked out by it. I don't believe in demonic possession! So why am I so scared of it?

Sophie's choice I haven't seen - but if you want to waste two ours of your life, I (don't) recommend The Life of David Gale. Utter tosh from beginning to end.

Let us know how Scarface went!

WILLIAM said...

The Princess Bride-- "Are you kidding? Fencing, fighting, torture, revenge, giants, monsters, chases, escapes, true love, miracles..."

and it is not a "Kissing Book (film)"

Sandra D said...

OK, I have not seen any of those movies either...and I haven't seen LOTR either...oh dear.

blogging said...

darling, for the record? i had not seen the movie "the princess bride" until about two years ago. and let me say...it is hilarious.

when i first got it, i was all omg this looks sooo stupid i'm not watching this. so it stayed int he wrapper for like, 3 years, and everyone was all OMG i can't BELIEVE you haven't seen it. so, i finally watched it. and laughed my ass off. give it another chance. :)

xo, bb

Caitlin said...

OMG! I am SO HONORED to have been mentioned. I must say, when I started reading I did think of my recent Pulpy Experience -- and then I saw my name!

I must say, Princes Bride and It's a Wonderful Life are two of my all-time faves. I watch It's a Wonderful Life year round, because it's got such great themes and, well, they just don't make 'em like they used top.
BUT, I completely understand your theory on being disappointed with the classics. I recently started a campaign to watch the classics, and while I appreciated Casablanca and Gone With The Wind, the hype certainly tainted them a bit for me.

You go girl! Get on with your rebellious bad self!
xoxo

Kristi said...

I love that you're such a rebel! Here's a hint about The Princess Bride - one word: booze. Altering substances are the key to making funny movies classics! I definitely would NOT try that with Scarface though!

Rachel said...

ok ok..I can surely understand your lack of interest in ANY movie that Jean Claude Van Stupid is in..really I can, but THE PRINCESS BRIDE??? You really should just force yourself to watch it. It is just inconceiveable that you haven't seen it. I am also with you though on the star trek crap..for lack of more interesting adjectives to describe it..I will just say that star trek is DUMB. Please please tell me you have watched the classic molly ringwald movies?? I don't know if I could continue to read your blog if you haven't :)

DevilsHeaven said...

I was with you on Scareface.
You lost me with The Princess Bride, I own 2 copies and the book.
And I'm with you again on It's A Wonderful Life. I don't need 2 hrs of what's his face whinning.
Seriously gal, Princess Bride? The subtle humour kills me everytime.