So I left a comment today on Adulthood Sucks (who is lovely!). I am not going to repeat it, but it's there for you to read for yourself. But I gotta be honest, I felt a little bad afterward. I mean I was basically insulting someone I don't even know. Which is rude, but I seem to have a bit of a gift for it. What can I say, God blesses us in different ways.
But the issue is, I didn't feel bad about hurting the feelings of the person I was talking about, I felt bad about hurting the feelings of the person I was talking to. Get it?? I mean I don't know the lovely anonymous writer of Adulthood Sucks, even though I have been lurking on her site forev. I'm all wrapped up in her life now. Which is little creepy. But I am sure you all feel the same about me, just as I do about you. Wrapped up I mean. Not creepy. So what if this person I was insulting was by some slim chance related to Adulthood Sucks? What if it was her sister, friend or distant relative and I totally talked smack about her?
Okay this is getting confusing. So I'll just put it out there. I was talking about Denise Richards. And I may or may not have insinuated that she was a fame hungry whore. Okay I just said it out right. But for the record, I said she's a self promoting whore. But what ever, tomato tomahto. But since we're all ready talking about her I'll just stand up and go on record that I think Charlie is much better off without her. So for any of you still wondering where I stood on that issue, I am Team Charlie all the way.
And since we are talking about celebrities, let's talk about Pete Wentz for a little while, mmmkay? What do we think of him? Personally, not a fan. And the guy is everywhere. I'm sick of him. He has to be the most famous bassist ever. (He's a bassist right? For all I know he could play the accordion.) Have you ever heard of a band where the bassist is more famous than the lead singer? Can anyone here (over the age of 22) name the lead singer of Fall Out Boy?? Anyone? Nope, I have no idea what his name is either. And I am not looking him up on the Google. And don't you do it either. I know you want to. I am convinced someone somewhere is keeping track of everything we are Googling to use it against us someday. God forbid someone throws that little nugget back in my face at a really inopportune time.
"Dear Mrs. Uberman, we regretfully inform you that your son cannot be accepted into our university at this time. After a routine investigation it was discovered that in the summer of 2008 you were guilty of excessively Googling where to buy replacement Lego pieces, crock pot recipes, Daniel Craig, and the lead singer of Fall Out Boy. We could have overlooked the other items as we realize you're a mom of two boys, you work so you need simple meal preparations, and we would be lying if we didn't agree that Daniel Craig is straight out of Studsville. However, no one cares about the name of the lead singer of Fall Out Boy, therefore we have concluded your son is the descendant of psychopaths and/or idiots. We recommend you contact a mental health professional ASAP. Sincerely, Random Ivy League University."
What is up with this? I am assuming Posh did not see him before he left the house or I am 100% convinced she would have asked why in the hell he was wearing little Cruz's vest. And the bow tie she stole from a male stripper. And Grandma Becks' turquoise necklace as a bracelet. Referee, hand this man his red card!!
And what the heck happened here? Apparently there is a stylist position open in Hollywood. Anyone condoning neoprene pants and no-sew fleece vests need not apply.
And is just me, or is this his signature pose? Close your mouth Dude, you like a moron. And stop hanging out with Pete Wentz. That guy's a goober. But love the hair, man. Kudos for finally cutting it.
And seriously, what is going on here? Is she? Are they? Do you really think? I mean whatever floats your boat. But wow.
And for those of you (men I am assuming) who don't get the fascination with celebrities, Uberman doesn't get it either. When Brad and Jen broke up I was upset. I mean I walked around in a fog for days asking why? Why can't they go to counseling and work this out?? Why?? And Uberman said "Baby, you realize you don't actually know them, right??" But whatever. I felt like I did. And they let me down. No, HE let me down. Running off with that woman. And now Jen's dating a dude who walks around with his mouth hanging open. Oh the pain!
Speaking of marriage, yesterday I read this little blurb about Charlize Theron. She's basically saying she doesn't believe in marriage because the government doesn't see the reality of gay and lesbian marriages. I'm sorry, what does this have to do with you getting married, Charlize? I just think that if I am going to take a stand on the issue of championing the equal marriage cause, I might want to be someone who takes marriage seriously. Regardless of who is getting married, the act of marriage itself deserves some respect if everyone should be allowed to do it. Anyone out there with me on this? I'm stepping off my soap box now.
Wait, maybe I need to climb back on. I saw a little snippet on E! of this woman wearing this dress. They (the E! people) were asking her why she felt the need to put that statement on her dress and she said "Because I stand against genocide." Um, isn't everyone technically against genocide? Or maybe I should rephrase that. Is there anyone for genocide? I think even the people who are causing the genocide, the genociders if you will, are against genocide. The genocide is simply the result of what they view as a greater fight. It just sounds stupid. I'm against genocide. Really Maria, how do you feel about child abuse? Or animal cruelty? Are you against that too? What about raping and pillaging? Just curious. Because me personally, I'm totally against the raping, but the pillaging is okay. And I'm on the fence about toxic chemicals in toys. Doing a little more research before I sew sequin letters on my Old Navy denim jacket and permanently declare my stance on the subject.
Sometimes celebrities are stupid.
And just in case anyone wants to start jumping all over me about how I don't even know these people and who am I to judge, I just want to let y'all know I got my facts from People Magazine. Mmmmkay? And we all know you can believe everything you read in People. Right?