Tuesday, May 20, 2008

You're My Boy, Blue!

One of my coworkers is an older gentleman. And when I say older I really mean old. Remembers listening to the radio shows for entertainment while wearing knickers and a newsboy cap old. I have not asked him, because that would be rude, but I am guessing he's around eighty. Eight Zero. I know, God bless his little failing heart, huh? But seriously, he is a nice man.

However, he is a bit, um, technologically challenged? Which can seriously bummerfy my day. (Yep, totally just made that word up. I think it rocks.)

Like everyone else in the 21st century, we work in a business that heavily relies on computers and various electronic devices. We fax, we email, we text, we scan, we upload & download, we import & export. If the server goes down, if the power goes out, if we have no cell service, we are screwed.
Unfortunately, Old Guy refuses to get with times. He hand writes everything. And the He Boss is so patient and understanding. He figures the guy doesn't do that much business with us so what's the big deal if we (meaning me) have to transfer all of his handwritten files to an electronic format? Which means I spend my afternoon deciphering his scribbles, calling him with questions on shorthand (shorthand people!), and entering all of the data into the programs we use. He actually made a joke about how it's too bad he has to spend so much time writing all this stuff when I just have to type it up anyway, too bad he can't just send it all to me through Morse code. I laughed but I am terrified he was a little serious.

Because he doesn't use the computer much, if I need to communicate with him, I have to call him. Which for some reason, and totally not a fault on his part, irritates the crap out of me. It is so much easier for me to be productive and multi-task if I don't have to stop and actually talk to someone. Have you ever noticed that talking on the phone takes concentration? And a lot of energy? But typing? There are no tangents to distract you from the point, there's no exchange of polite banter, there's no sitting and listening to stories that took place back in '39 when the world was apparently a Utopia. It's direct and to the point. And my preferable mode of communication in professional relationships. I find it terribly inconvenient to just stop everything I am doing to call him when I could just shoot him a quick email. Are you following me on this or am I just coming off as a horrible, impatient jerk? Totally rhetorical question, just to let you know. I came home and complained about this issue to my wonderfully understanding husband. He kindly reminded me that I had just spent two hours the night before talking to his mother on the phone about uncomfortable shoes, colon cleansing and the sex of Brad and Angelina's upcoming twins. Bad example, Babealicious. Obviously I am not discussing such poignant and socially relevant issues at work with Old Guy. Hello?

So yesterday I call Old Guy to let him know his paycheck is ready and he can either come pick it up at the office or we can send it snail mail. Guess what he says to me??

"You guys really need to get with it and sign up for direct deposit."

Dude. Are you flipping kidding me?


Becky said...

You are so tender hearted and kind. That is why I love you. Wink.

He probably has a rotary phone in his house, avacado green appliances, and some gnarly shag carpet!

But, as the Maid of 7, there are days that I would take one elderly man over boogers, poop, and people who pee themselves.

(Wow...I guess that could be him too.)


Katie said...

LOL! I often wonder what people will think of us at 80. What on EARTH will the technology be like in 2056???

chandy said...

That is one of the funniest movies ever...

And I have to work very hard to have patience with old people...

Anonymous said...

Awwww... I love old people! I could sit and talk to them ALL DAY!!! I understand it could be frustrating when you are trying to get stuff done at work though. I love the direct deposit thing... what a hoot.

WILLIAM said...

You should talk to the old guy about Brad and angelina...See what his take is on it.

But instead of Brad say Spencer and instead of Angelina Say Katherine.

Roland Hulme said...


It is indeed a very fine word.

Bogart in P Towne said...

It seems that if they can't use the tools of the job, they should not be in that job...but that is just me.

Now, if you told me it was the CEO, that would be different.

April said...

I feel like I need to clarify - I am not complaining about his age. He really is a nice man and I feel a little bit guilty about this post. It's his lack of technical know-how that I find inconvenient. I'm probably going to burn in hell for this post.

ginger said...

direct deposit.
he's soooo just fooling you guys so that he can do whatever he wants at work :) he goes home and ichats with his great-grand kids. bet me.