I think I'm coming down with something. I feel a little icky today. Icky and achy. And I'm tired. So tired. I could lay my head down on this desk right now and take a siesta. You like that? Apparently my oncoming illness is making me bilingual.
Maybe it's the weather. It's kind of an overcast day in the Valley of the Sun. Not quite a grey day, as Mac calls them, where there's a chance of rain. Just that hazy white cloud stuff blocking the sun but not the heat. Oh dear Lord is it hot already. Muy caliente. Maybe I am feeling sick because of my imminent summer electric bill. I hate going to the mailbox and hearing that evil little beast cackling at me.
Maybe it's the stock market, which is really pissing me off today. I'm just sitting here watching the price of oil climb and the dollar sink. And my gas light dinged at me on the way to work this morning. I think that is my least favorite sound. But I think I was in a mopey mood before that. Which is very odd for me. I am usually a pretty upbeat person. But today I am not myself. No bueno.
Maybe it's my hair. I am not having a good hair day today. I look like Javier Bardem in No Country for Old Men. And my eyes feel kind of puffy. Hey, you know the actress who plays Josh Brolin's mother in law in that movie? The one in the back of the taxi with his wife going "I've got the cancer?" I saw that lady at Disneyland like 5 years ago. I talked to her for about a half hour. Her name is Beth Grant and she is super nice. Now whenever we see her in something Uberman says "Hey, there's your friend." She was on The Office a few weeks ago, the one with the dinner party at Michael and Jan's? She was Dwight's date. We're like this. (I'm holding up my right hand and crossing my middle finger over my index finger.) I don't know why she always plays an old lady. She looks so much younger and prettier in person. Why am I telling you this? I think I'm a little delirious. I must have a fever. Soy enfermo. Or is it enferma because I'm a girl?
I do not have time to be sick. This month is chock full of activities. But next month I'm wide open. Is it chock full or chalk full? Chalk full doesn't make any sense. But I don't think I am either.
I need to turn CNBC off. It's making me feel worse. My stock is flat lining. Maybe there's Real World marathon on. Or a really uplifting episode of Little House on the Prairie. Or maybe I'll just watch the Backyardigans. Or Telemundo.
I think my mind's been taken over by pod people. I need to snap out of it. I think I'll go get some cookies at Paradise Bakery. And a Diet Coke. Screw weight watchers. I am not in the mood.
The Happy Queen will return tomorrow, I promise. Unless she's got her head stuck in the throne. Ha! See I'm feeling better already.