Yesterday my new friend Chris at Diet Coke Rocks had this beautiful and inspiring post. Anyone who has struggled with their "Bigger" self will relate. I have been taking a little break from the weight watching, even after promising the lovely Brenda I would start again with her. This post was just the kick in the ass I needed.
It reminded me of all the reasons I started in the first place. Plain and simple - I don't want to be that girl anymore. I want my confidence back. I want to feel healthy. I want to enjoy shopping for new clothes. Oh who am I kidding? I loved shopping for fat clothes, too. Shopping is and always has been part of my cardio. But, I don't want to avoid seeing people from my past because I am worried about that look in their eyes. You know that look? "Oh wow, she's really packed on the pounds!" Even if they don't say it, you can see it. It hurts.
I don't want my husband to introduce me to friends or co-workers and see that they are thinking "Poor Uberman. He's so cute and has a chubby wife." Even though he loves me no matter what, I care about what people think when they see us together.
Chris was sweet enough to post my Bigger story on her blog. I had more comments today from other women just like me, just like Chris. Women who are struggling to get their bodies back. It felt so good to hear from these women. I have worked too hard to give up when I have not reached my goal.
So guess what I did today? I wore a pair of pants that I had from last summer, before I started with my weight loss plan. I had them stuffed way back in the closet with the maternity clothes I will never need again and the work suits I still can't get rid of from 1997. Yeah, really. I pulled them out and I wore them. With a belt - because they are two sizes too big. But I needed to remind myself how good it feels to know that I am smaller than I was this time last year. They were uncomfortable and annoying because they kept sagging. I had to pull them up every time I got out of my chair. I had to keep checking to make sure my shirt was covering my goodies. I am sure the He and She bosses saw more of me than necessary today. Thank God for cute knickers, eh?
If all goes well, I am going to Italy in November. I want to be within 10 pounds of my goal weight by then. There is no reason why I can't do it. I can't believe I am putting this out there, but now I am accountable to everyone who reads this. To Chris and all her lovely friends who commented today. To my blogging BFF Brenda. To anyone else who is going through this. And most importantly, to myself. Cue Rocky theme song...
.... Smokin' Hot April is making a comeback!