Wednesday, April 30, 2008

Believe and Achieve, My Friend

Do you ever notice how the smallest things can either make or break your day?

Last Friday was a terrible day. And I left work completely bummed out and sad. Why? Because I realized as I got in my car that I had lost one of my earrings. Not just any earring, but one of my FAVORITE earrings that I wear all the time. My big silver Tiffany Beads, which I instead prefer to call Balls. I went back to look for it and I couldn't find it. The He and She Bosses were out of town, but returning the next day (and I work out of their home) so I sent the She Boss a text message. This was our conversation:

Me: So po'd. Lost earring. If u find, plz let me know!
She: Oh that sux. I'll look for it. Not a diamond?
Me: No, Tiffany.
She: Oh, bummer. I know how u luv ur balls. :)

Yes, I do. I love my balls. My mother in law had given them to me for Christmas two years ago. And it was so much fun getting that turquoise-ish blue box with the white bow. I said to Uberman "Take a picture of my gift!" And he says "Okay, open it." I said "No, I don't think I'm gonna. I'm just gonna keep it like this." But I was glad I opened it because I loved my new sparkly silver balls. And of course I made jokes all day about how I had always wished I had balls like her and now I had big set of my own. Yeah, good times.

I wore those earrings every other day or more. And I know it's a dumb thing to get all sad and sappy over, but I swear I felt like my dog died or something. Okay, maybe not that bad. But I was sad and mad at myself for not being more careful with my balls.

Monday I couldn't wait to get to work. I just knew the She Boss would find it. I went in, fully expecting to see it sitting on my keyboard, and . . . nothing. She said she looked everywhere, no ball. I refused to give up hope. I knew it had to be somewhere close. On my way out that afternoon I looked in the driveway and the entry in case it fell off outside, but no ball. I checked my car, I climbed under my desk (wow, was that a sight), I searched high and low, no ball. Yesterday I looked again, no ball. I was so disappointed I couldn't find it. So sadly, I was down to one ball. I felt like John Kruk.

And then today, I dragged myself out of the car, up the driveway, casually glancing around just in case. And then, out of the corner of my eye, something shiny caught my attention. I looked down at a patch of rocks in the entry way. It was like a beacon, a light shining down from the heavens, illuminating this one patch of gravel. Is it?? Could it be?? A choir of angels began to sing in my ears "Glory Glory Hallelujah!" Or maybe it was "I'll Fly Away," I can't really remember. But there it was, my beautiful ball!! Lonely and a little tarnished, probably scared and shivering in the 89 degree weather. Oh praise the sweet Baby Jesus! I once was lost but now I'm found, was blind but now I see my beautiful ball in a pile of rocks!

I danced into the office, shaking my money maker and singing "I found my ball! I found my ball! Go April! It's your birthday!" The He Boss looked up from his desk and he's all "Wow, you are really happy about your earring. Did it have sentimental value?" And I'm all "Hells yeah! It's from Tiffany's!"

So the rest of the day was spent in sweet thankful euphoria. Nothing phased me, because my balls were back together. I started calling them Peaches and Herb, because they are reunited and it feels so good. Nothing could take away my high. Not the countless morons who called the office with stupid questions. Not the usual nail biting stressful deadlines I deal with.

Not even that one idiot coworker who drives me completely insane with his laziness: "Um, hey Ape ha ha ha. Anyone ever call you Ape?? Ha ha. I am so funny no wonder my wife left me. Um listen, can you do me a solid? I'm on the road and I can't find this address I'm supposed to be at, you know, 'cause I'm such an asshat and all. Can you look this address up for me and tell me where it is? Because you know I couldn't find my way out of a paper bag with both ends open. Thanks Doll. Were you born in April? Ha ha ha."

On any other day I would have totally said "Dude, I'm not your secretary. Get your ass to Best Buy and invest in a Garmin Nuvi. I can't be mapquesting at your demand when I am so busy and important. Douchebox." But today I gave him his directions and told him to have a nice day. And then waited for him to call me back when he realized I sent him to a proctologists office. What? Oh if you knew him you would have done the same thing.

And of course it didn't phase me at all when I got stuck behind a moving truck trying to go through the round about. Or when the line at the grocery store was 8 people deep and I had one item. And when one of the snooty mom's on my son's baseball team made a comment about him being 5 minutes late for the pregame warm up, I just laughed and complimented the zebra print stilettos and rhinestone studded jeans she was wearing. At 4:30 in the afternoon. On a Wednesday. To her son's baseball game. Whatever. Who cares! Because my balls are back, Baby!

And I realized last night why I was so happy. It really wasn't because of the earring. It was because I really believed I would find it. And I did. I felt like I had accomplished something all because I believed it was possible. And in all seriousness (I have no idea if that is a word), I think God really does give us these little moments about tiny, insignificant things, like an earring or a TiVo remote or an iPod, as small exercises in faith. If we build our faith in small sets, the greater sets become more achievable. Are you following me on this? Am I making any sense? Or am I still in my Tiffany fueled euphoria?

Like the great Tony Robbins says, if you can believe, you will achieve. At least I think it was Tony Robbins. Maybe it was Walt Disney. Or maybe I saw it on a sign at Sea World, I don't really remember. But who really gives a flip? My sweet balls are together again!


Jessie said...

Yeah for your balls.

I don't get the John Kruk reference. It seems to me that he left when he wanted to. Just took himself out of the game. Said he wanted to go to Sizzler. So, is that what losing your balls means to you? You just want to walk away from the game? I get that. I hate losing things. But John Kruk, he left at a high point.

Sandra D said...

Glad to hear the balls are hanging together again...A girl's got to have a nice pair of balls.

April said...

John Kruk battled testicular cancer in 1994, and unfortuantely lost a, um, ball. Defying doctor's orders of taking time off, he showed up at Spring Training wearing a t-shirt that said "If they won't let me play I'll take my ball and go home." Love that guy. never lost his sense of humor even though he had every right to. People like that make the world a better place.

Jessie said...

I'm with you there. Unfortunately, the Wikipedia article didn't talk about that.

You hang in there with your balls, girlfriend! Love the obscure reference, by the way. I am sorry that I didn't understand it. In a way I feel I've let you down.

Becky said...

What is so spesh about Tiffanys?

I mean, I don't think that color of aqua is all that and then can we get any less creative than a white bow? I just dont get it.

Maybe it is because in my world, the only balls I am dealing with are the ones I am trying to keep neatly tucked in a diaper. ever have a kid who wants to free the balls?

Happy for you nonetheless...and maybe you could send some of your "finding it" mojo over to my crib...I have a diamond that snapped off of my wedding ring that has been missing fo-evah!

Peace out.
Becky, the maid
Why am I talking like this?

Katie said...

There is not much worse than losing ONE of your favorite earrings. That has happened to me several times because I hate earrings with backs, so they slip out easily. Oops. If you'll notice, often I don't wear any because I'm so defeated. If only I had your faith, I might have found that lost earring at the zoo!

And seriousness is a word. I think.

WILLIAM said...

I am always at my best when I have both my balls.

Anonymous said...

Oh, Bill (shaking head)-- you handed them over a llllooonnnggg time ago... it's ok, honey, they're in good hands.

aschmoel said...

"hells yeah?" who are you and where is April? Even in her Tiffany's induced euphoria she would never use whiskey tango grammer...LOL

This was hilarious. I know you and your attachment to those earrings and anything special given to you.

And "dude" I SO get the whole Tiffany's thing...My husband could wrap up a rock from our front yard and as long as it was in that perfect aqua box with a white bow, I am IN LOVE with it! The box IS the gift! Why else would you be able to buy an EMPTY box on EBAY for $20?

April said...

This is why we are BFF my dear Raia. I am calling you Raia in my blog to protect your identity. :) And also because like Cade said, I know 87 Andreas. I need to distinguish you from the rest. And I am still debating if I am going to blog about your last name and monogram issues. Love you! Muah!

aschmoel said...

Feel free to blog about how I did not realize my future monogram issues until too late..Like the ring was on the finger and the invitations had already gone out. Where were you THEN my dear BFF?

Love ya! Muah!

April said...

I was in a corner with your sister Kristi laughing our off. Ha ha ha!!! Good thing he's such an awesome guy and totally worth it.

Oh, man. I crack myself up!!

aschmoel said...

oh yeah, you are hilarious!